Choose Me (Grayson Dolan)

06. The other side

Grayson's POV

I watched her enter the car and the way HE put his hand on her knee. I wanted nothing more than to scream at the top of my lungs and punch something with all my might, but I couldn't. I just stood there watching her drive off with another guy.

"Gray! What happened? Where's Hanna?" Ethan was worried, but I could barely speak. He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched at the unexpected movement.

"Gray...speak to me." Ethan stopped in my line of sight, slightly shaking me to get my attention.

"I lost her." I managed to whisper the words that cut like a knife as her words were currently circling my head, haunting my thoughts, so loud I thought I'd lose my mind. Those words destroyed my heart and I didn't know how to build it back up without her. I didn't even know where to start because she was the very essence of it.

"Explain what happened!" Ethan ordered, his eyes searching for answers, but I was hollowed out.

"I can't. I..I feel like I'm gonna throw up." I spoke and a moment later I found myself on my knees, bending forward as chunks of food covered in creamy chyme were propelled into the air and splattered the pavement. Ethan managed to jump back just in time, so the disgusting content missed him completely.

My throat felt sore from the stomach acid and my mouth tasted of vomit. I felt weak and I couldn't stop shaking. Tears dripped from my face, mixing with the pungent smelling vomit and I couldn't comprehend the reason as to why I was in this position.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. Gray..It's okay." Ethan hugged me, trying to soothe me, but it felt impossible.

"I messed everything up. I..I..I don't kknow whhat ttoo doo" I wailed, completely falling apart.

"Let's get you inside and we can talk tomorrow when you sober up." Ethan instructed, holding me up so I don't fall face first in my own vomit. I couldn't even speak, just nod as I put my arms around him and allowed him to lead the way. Everything blurred together as we passed between sweaty bodies of people I really didn't want in my house right now. I just wanted to be alone...actually I wanted Hanna with me, but that wasn't an option anymore.

I remember Ethan tucking me in, falling asleep moments after. My dreams were consumed with her face...her beautiful eyes as they welled up with tears, the way her nose scrunched up as her face twisted in pain I have caused her. I woke up drenching my own pillow in tears as the pain of losing her hit me even harder than the night before.

"Morning sleepy head." Ethan piped up and I pulled up the covers over my head.

"Don't." I muttered. However, he didn't listen...he never does. He ripped everything off me and I groaned as the light hit my eyes. It was my first hangover and the heartbreak didn't help.

"Talk." Ethan ordered. He had a cup of water in his left hand and two white pills in the other. I took them in my mouth, swallowing the pills, hoping they don't come back up. I was never a fan of any kind of medication, the thought of them always made me nervous for some reason. Whenever I was sick, she'd be there to nurse me back to health. I knew she hid my medication in food and drinks or she'd just convince me to swallow them in exchange for a hug. I would have done anything she asked of me in exchange for any physical affection.

"She told me I've lost my chance." I spoke, my voice empty and void of emotions just like I was. I had issues dealing with it, so why not shut down completely? It's a good coping mechanism, right?

"No shutting down! Speak, so I know how to fix this!" Ethan exclaimed, slapping me back to reality.

"I asked her to stay, to be with me. I told her he didn't deserve her, that I love her and she left anyways." Anger filled me as the thought of him with her entered my mind again.