Choose Me (Grayson Dolan)

08. I could never hate you

„Gray, stop walking around in circles, I'm getting dizzy!" I whined and he plopped down on the cold, kitchen tiles.

„That video shows me drinking, UNDERAGE! Punching a guy, throwing out my so called girlfriend, and you expect me to be calm? Hanna, Ethan and I have worked on our image since day one! Everything is ruined now! Ethan's gonna kill me!" Grayson put his head in his hands, groaned and laid back on the floor.

"Grayson, it's not that bad. You're human, you make mistakes like anyone else...your fans will see that."

It broke my heart to see him this way. I knew he wasn't only angry, but disappointed in himself and that was the worst thing for a guy like Grayson. He and I both had that ugly habit of overthinking things and this one will keep him up for months, I just knew it.

I slid down from my chair and joined him on the floor. I laid on my left side, so close that we were touching, head turned to him, an arm draped across his chest in what I hoped was a comforting way. I could feel his heart racing, his breathing uneven and my own seemed to be in sync with him. I felt him and his emotions more than my own. In this moment Grayson seemed more real to me than the blood in my veins and my own heartbeat.

„Thank you." He whispered softly, his voice breaking.

„For what?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. I used the arm I had over his chest to pull myself closer, nuzzling my head in the crook of his neck and he sighed heavily, almost like he was in pain.

„I know you hate me right now, and yet, here you are, comforting me on the floor. It's one of the reasons why I feel the way I do about you." Grayson admitted, turning his head slightly to leave a kiss on my forehead. My heart skipped a beat as his words reached my brain. It felt like those words have caused a flood inside my head, all the alarms going off as the memories of us came rushing back to me.

„I..I could never hate you, Grayson." I hated the vulnerability in my voice, but I couldn't hide it. This man made me feel a hundred different emotions every day, but hate was never one of them.

„You have no idea how much that means to me." Grayson put a hand on my cheek, gently caressing it as if I were a flower about to disappear from his grasp at any moment.

I dared to look up and meet his gaze, the look in his eyes taking me by surprise. There were so many raw and untold emotions in those brown hues, I felt breathless. I knew this was a bad idea, probably my worst, but I couldn't help but lean in. Our breaths mingled with one another, lips so close I could almost taste him. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips several times, just to make sure I was okay with what was about to happen.

„Hanna! I brought ice cream!" I jumped back at the sound of Harry's voice and sat back up on a chair far from Grayson. I looked to see him get up slowly, his face flushed from the mistake that I almost made. Even tho' his face was emotionless, his eyes screamed how much this hurt him and I felt a physical ache in my chest once I realized I was the reason for his pain. Damn it!

„It's your fav...oh, hi. I didn't realize you had company." Harry was taken aback with Grayson's presence which was understandable. He did get punched by Gray the last time they saw one another.

„Uh...Grayson stopped by to give me a message from Ethan. Apparently he got sick and needed my home made chicken soup." Grayson raised an eyebrow as I lied through my teeth.

„Oh. That's nice of you." Harry stated before kissing my lips. I saw Grayson avert his eyes and that pang of hurt hit my chest once more. I felt disgusted with myself, but I made a choice that was good for me. Harry was good for me, Grayson only ever broke my heart.