Choose Me (Grayson Dolan)

07. Breakfast

Getting out of bed seemed like an impossible mission. I barely left the comfort of my mattress since the party, avoiding dealing with the world and my own actions. I spoke to Grayson in anger and it only made things worse between us. I'm not sure if we can even be friends anymore after the words I've said. After the words he said..Did he mean it, or was he just too afraid to let me go?

I stared at the ceiling, realizing that I had no intention of getting up today either. I wanted to crawl in a hole and just die. I honestly don't know why people call it heartbreak, because I hurt all over. Without Grayson, I don't feel whole and that missing piece of me is gnawing at my mind.

A sudden, loud thud broke me out of my thoughts. What in the world was that?

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I slowly stood up. Holding back a groan from the aches in my body, I grabbed my taser and moved slowly to the kitchen where I thought I heard the sound come from.

I was prepared to act, but the shock of seeing him in front of me caused me to drop the taser onto the ground. Startled, Grayson turned around and smiled once he realized it was me.

„Morning. How did you sleep?" He spoke nonchalantly, like nothing was wrong, like Friday night and months before that never happened. I opened my mouth a few times, closing it right after once I realized I had nothing to say. I was caught off guard and honestly, the feeling I got once I saw him just felt right. Almost like he belonged there, in my kitchen. I watched his back muscles contract and relax as he seemed to be making breakfast. Wait a minute!

„Why are you in my kitchen making breakfast? How did you even get in?" I questioned, baffled by this turn of events.

„Oh, I never returned the keys and to answer your first question, I'm here because I wanted to make you breakfast. Most important meal of the day!" He exclaimed as he flipped a pancake in the air like a professional cook.

„I never asked you to make me breakfast...or to come here. I made myself clear Grayson, I don't" He turned around faster than I could register and placed his index finger over my lips, stopping me from speaking.

„I know what you said...it broke my heart but I realized that must have been the way you felt when I allowed myself to be blinded by Amber and her.....charms. I'm not giving up on you." Grayson's words should have comforted me, wake up some hope that I used to hold on to before, but they only cut me like knives.

„Why now? I'm happy now! Grayson, I can't...I can't just drop everything and everyone for you. I'm not a toy you can play with whenever you feel like it. God...Can't you see you're killing me!" I cried out, the wound he caused four months ago was gaping, fully opened once again, bleeding and it didn't seem like it would get better. The stitches I've placed were ripped and I was a mess once again.

„I'm sorry. I'll never be able to explain just how sorry I am...But I'm willing to try and prove it. I won't stand in your way. You need to see where this whole thing with Hagrid takes you and I get it. However, I want you to understand I'm not going anywhere. I'll be waiting for you, right here and one day you'll see that. You will choose me, I know you will." Grayson took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart.

„This heart is yours. Always has been." His words felt like medicine this time around and I knew there was something there to trust in, but the fear of going through the pain of losing him overwhelmed that notion and it made my heart hide behind a wall.

„His name is Harry." I corrected and he smiled weakly.

„Got it...Now...prepare to be amazed by my cooking skills!" His mood seemed to brighten. Corners of my lips twitched as I fought a smile while I watched him dance as put on a few finishing touches. I couldn't help the warmth that spread on my insides as I remembered all my dreams of the future where I pictured him making breakfast like this every Sunday morning. I expected him to be there, but that picture perfect was now tainted and not knowing if it will ever clear up broke me up inside.

I always knew I could count on him. Grayson used to be the only person in my life that would run once called, stay even when I said he didn't have too because he knew I didn't mean it. He always went that extra mile for me and I always did the same for him. He took root in me in a way I have never let another soul do, feeling that he was my shelter and I his. We were only friends, never once sharing a kiss, never ever even talked about being something more, but it was something real. It grew so quietly and quickly that no one realized when it became this big, beautiful thing that could have blossomed into something so out of this world.

„Here!" He drops a plate of heart-shaped pancakes with G+ H written in chocolate, a few strawberries on the side. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting in a tender way, more loving than any touch I ever felt. My heart was soaring, but my brain was adamant on not letting him off the hook so easily. It remembered every night I'd lay awake at night, crying with a hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs. It remembered each and every time my heart dropped when i heard his name, every time I wanted to call him but realized I couldn't. It remembers every ache and every pain I felt and it wasn't ready for more.

„Thank you." I replied quietly and his shoulders dropped. He sat across from me and grabbed a plate of his own. We ate in silence, occasionally looking up only to notice the other one staring which prompted us to both look away awkwardly.

My phone buzzed loudly and I grabbed it off the counter. Before I had a chance to look at it, Grayson's phone started ringing and vibrating like crazy, notifications coming in faster to the point where he was forced to put down his food and look at the almost possessed device that called for his attention.

We exchanged a wary look, as I assumed he felt this weird sinking feeling I did too.

Opening it, I gasped in shock once I realized what it was.

GRAYSON DOLAN DRINKS, STARTS A FIGHT AND DUMPS HIS GIRLFRIEND ALL IN ONE NIGHT

„Why is this site writing about the party?" I questioned, but he sat there, unmoving, completely silent.

„Gray?" I called for him, worried. Since he didn't reply, I got up from my chair and pulled him in a hug. I didn't mean to do hug him, it just came as an old instinct I couldn't stop. Just as I wrapped my arms around him, he relaxed instantly, leaning into my chest, resting his head over my heart. His arms found their way around me as well and a small smile appeared on my lips. It's the way it's supposed to be...entangled into each other's embrace...it feels right.

„This will ruin my entire reputation." He murmured and I backed off a little, moving a few strands of hair from his face.

„It's nothing we can't find a way out of. I just...how did this come up? I thought all the people at the party were trustworthy." I frowned and cupped his face. His hands overlapped with mine, his head turning slightly to the side, leaving a kiss on my palm.

„We?" He questioned with a tinge of hope.

„I'm sort of to blame for one of those things, so yeah...we." I spoke and he nodded.

„I'll take it." He smiled and pulled me closer again.

„You don't think Amber did this? Sort of a revenge plot?" I questioned and he nuzzled into my chest like a little puppy.

„I don't know or care. She doesn't matter." He responded and I felt my heart skip a beat. I knew he felt it too, but I was thankful he didn't say anything.

My phone buzzed once more and I opened it only to find the situation got worse.

„Gray...there's a video."