Notes | KNJ ✔

T w e l v e

Thinking about it now, it is so selfish of me.

I was so indulged in my own sorrow that I didn't even realize that how my own mother is doing.

I was so lost in how my life is like hell and how life is so unfair.

I didn't know my mom was dejected. She never told me anything. She didn't tell me anything of course, but I know she is my mother after all. I know when she tries to hide everything behind her smile. I can see right through her facade.

But first, I needed to at least see her.

Her health is surely not good, she doesn't have that glow on her face she used to have.

But I wasn't able to see it earlier.

As of my father I don't know what is going on with him. He has always been someone who is extremely hard to read and understand. No doubt why my mother used to say 'She is just like a carbon copy of her father.'

But time changes.
People change.
People's perspective changes.

Just like that my perspective changed about everything. From some of the small things to major changes.

Like this rain.

Rain was always one thing I was fond of, the droplets that poured down from the clouds and tapped on the ground , those beautiful grey clouds that covers the whole sky not letting the sun to peek through, the fresh scent of soil all around. It gave me a sense of relaxation.

And after the rain the tiny pearls of water that decorated the petals and leaves of the flowers. The passing by vehicles splashing the water puddled on the road. I loved it.

I changed my way of looking things changed. Now this rain is just a makes everything gloomy.

Sad. Depressed.

The tapping of the rain drops are a nuisance now. The weather suffocating.

I sat there with a cup of coffee in my hand. With my hair in a messy bun, fixing my round glasses staring at the raindrops that hits the window and slides down.

You say everything will be alright Namjoon. Will it ever be?

Will I be able to fix myself?

Will I be, after I have become?

You told me to smile so I will smile. I cannot meet you in person but these notes are enough for me, a source of hope.

You told me everything will be alright, so I am believing you that it will be all okay.

I am trusting you.

Please don't disappoint me.

Caramel macchiato☕

Ques. Have you ever tapped the drops of rain, to make them slide down?

Thank you for Reading!
Keep smiling :D