on golden pond | fillie

summer of '97 >part 2

millie's p.o.v.

they held finn's funeral on august 31st -that was the last time i was here, on golden pond.

letting him go has been the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

my mother insisted that the wedding be held here, where it all began. even though our real estate agent told us not to, my mother just shook her head.

we decided to sell because mum and dad can't take care of the place anymore. and nobody had the heart to say it but it isn't the same out there without finn.

i lay on my small twin bed, looking up at the ceiling. it's different being here now, with all the pictures torn off my walls, all my things packed away in cardboard boxes.

noah said he'd ship them to our new house when he packs up at the end of this summer.

my hands are shaky, so i fold them carefully under the covers.

it's my wedding day.

i take shallow breaths, a heat rising from the pit of my stomach.

it's a funny thing, the future.
it just kind of sneaks up on you, until one day you're getting married to a boy you love.

there's a knock at my door, so i stand up and open it.

a squeal is the response to my hello.

sunlight streams across sadie's face, her freckled cheeks bunched up with a smile.

"millie bobby brown- or should i say schnapp!?" she laughs, bouncing into my room.  "are you ready to get married?"

i lean from one foot the the other, fiddling with the hem of my nightgown.

sadie sees right through me.  "oh honey what's wrong?" she asks, embracing me.

i take deep breaths to keep my body from trembling.  "i just...i just wish he was here, you know?"

sadie's blue eyes lock with mine, flashing with acknowledgement.

"say no more millie, i get it," she whispers, rubbing my back.

we stand there for a while, the floorboards creaking as we sway back and forth.  until lilia's voice travels from the kitchen calling us for breakfast.

-

the morning is a blur.

mum does my hair and ava buzzes around with my other bridesmaids, putting the finishing touches on decor.

my hands shake with excitement and nerves so sadie has to apply my mascara.

i end up sneaking away to the lake, hoping to catch my breath and escape the madness.

at this point, i'm still wearing shorts and a t-shirt so i sit at the end of our dock, dipping my feet into the icy water.

i'd jump right in if i could, it's tempting but sadie would kill me; she spent an hour perfecting my makeup.

i know if finn was here, he'd jump and pull me right in with him.