The Empress Wears Gucci

07

        "You've been out so late?" Hua Er's voice startled me. 

        As I walked closer to her, my eyes focused on her dainty long fingers brushing against the strings of a foreign instrument. 

        The instrument had an alluring, soothing sound to it. It spoke sorrow but joy, melancholy but a hint of bliss. I was a sucker for sad melodies. With Hua Er's playing, I was deeply in love with the music. I ignored her question and started to gracefully—but jokingly—dance around the room. I twirled and did swift motions with my arms, following by lifting my legs up dramatically. The sleeve of my hanfu flowed as I moved my arms delicately. Although I was dancing in a zany manner, I felt tranquillity in my veins, and I was soon at ease. The instrument plays beautifully, almost enticing me to strip naked and cleanse myself under the moon.

        Hua Er must have thought I was drunk or something. I don't blame her, I did look like a drunk ballerina. The instrument stopped speaking, and I was soon welcomed by another tune. Hua Er's laughter. "I can't dance now?" I asked teasingly. 

        Hua Er giggled as I plopped myself next to her. She covered her mouth as she laughed, right before speaking. "Your dancing is very graceful."

       "So is your instrument playing," I ran my fingers through the string carefully. The sound was faint, but I was sure it was there. "It's a delicate noise, this instrument makes. It makes me feel at ease—it stirs up a certain emotion that I haven't had time to feel. You play so well... What's it called?"

        "I'm glad. I don't want you to worry too much... It's called a 'guqin'. It's a very popular instrument. It has seven strings, but these seven strings can play an infinite amount of music. The guqin is a remarkable instrument," she said. Her eyes drifted away from me and onto the instrument. "My mother taught me how to play when I was younger, it was the highlight of my days usually. After my father passed away, my mother and I worked on the farm together. I was always a busy, young girl. I never had time for myself, you see. There were times I wanted to play the guqin, play with my friends, and do normal children things, but you cannot do that if you have a farm to attend to. I never got to play on the guqin ever again... until now."

        I've never felt grief. I was glad not to. Seeing Hua Er's eyes water, broke me, but I couldn't say much. I was oddly speechless. I couldn't relate to her. To lose someone in your life must be the most heart-wrenching feeling ever. "Hua Er, I'm sorry for your loss. It must have hurt to lose your father. You and your mother are brave, I applaud that." 

        Her lips curled a little as she faced me. "It did, it truly did... Thank you... I can't believe I left my mother."

        I froze at her words. She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed continuously. Guilt and regret wash over me. I've never thought about it.  I manipulated her mother. I manipulated them. I shouldn't have asked her for help, now I was sitting down watching an innocent girl weep into her hands, while I caused it. If only I wasn't selfish for once. If only I didn't only think about myself for once. I watched in horror while she broke down in tears in front of me. Her cries filled the room.

        What have I done? 

        "I-I'm so sorry that I asked you to come with me," I cautiously shifted her head into my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She would get my hanfu wet, but at this point, it didn't matter. "I'm going to ask His Majesty to send you home tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

        "No, I-I can't, I have to stay with you, I mean, I want to," she pulled away from me and frowned. "This might be our only income..."

        "I'll stay here and make my way up to a good ranking, then you can go to school and play your guqin. Then, you and your mother will not have to do hard labour anymore. Wouldn't that be lovely?"