The Empress Wears Gucci

45

        It's been three agonizing days and there is still no guarantee that Chang Ying will be back soon. I've written—with chicken scratch writing—on scraps of paper, different things I could do, but they were not enough. Jaxon picked out every major and minor flaw in each of them. 

        I groaned. "This is hopeless."

        "It's only hopeless because your plans are too morally correct." Jaxon shrugged, fixing himself a third cup of tea.

         My fingers were aching as they violently ran itself through my unbrushed, unwashed hair, in response to a short outcry. I dipped my head down and scratched the back of my head violently. I rose from my seat sharply. "Jaxon."

         "Hm?" Jaxon turned his head to face me.

        "The plan you had in mind... I can add to it but I don't know if I can execute it," I whispered. "It goes against my ethics."

        He stared at me for a while. His gaze steadied, speculating what my next move was, but he continued to listen to me.

         I was a kind, empathetic woman; a girl with compassion for everything and anything. If I saw a mass murderer shed tears in court, I would pity them. My heart was gold.

         One time, a few years back, it was downtown late at night. City lights were faint but showed the industrial area. It was breezy at this time. Cars were still moving, loud engines were zooming, and you could smell the emissions in the air. Faint police and ambulance sirens could be heard from far. 

        The sky was navy blue, almost pitch black. Despite the dull sky, the place was still animated. Cherry and I watched a friendly magician do street magic. It wasn't me who noticed first; it was Cherry. 

        She noticed a lonely girl, her back leaning against the wall of a brightly lit store. The girl had her face in the palm of her hands, and her shoulders shook. As we approached closer, I was the first to ask if she was okay. After offering a hug, she told us about our situation. It didn't take long for her to tell her that her phone died. The big city left her stranded and her home was three hours away. 

        The girl ended up finding her friends, and Cherry and I ended up being content. 

        I thought about it. 

        Many people walked past her, and many people ignored her. I don't want to boost myself up or make myself look like a saint, but I felt good. The situation had caused me to realise my empathetic self. I had a heart of gold. I cared too much about other people sometimes, and it left me in fragments of distrust.

        The plan I had immediately thought of contradicted everything I've ever known about myself. It was unbelievable that I could have followed through with it. But I am stranded in a large structure with potential diseases waiting to attack. I felt disgusting and dirty in the same clothes for three days. I haven't bathed at all yet. I don't know when I will bathe, but having me washed was not the first priority to the Emperor. 

        I had to confront my ethics. 

       In the harem, it was every woman for herself. The Empress was willing to do anything to secure her position, even if it involved the murder of a small child. How chaotic was it to live this way? How many times have I walked out, not knowing that so many opportunities were there to put me down? How many of them were attempted, but didn't succeed? My entire life, I've been altruistic, but I had to be selfish just this once. 

        "I need you to listen carefully," I spoke firmly.

        My plan was a lot similar to Jaxon's original one. It was supposed to be the one we relied on if I couldn't figure anything out. Jaxon was ruthless. Something about that turned me on, but I never said anything about it.