The Empress Wears Gucci

40

        "And," Jaxon said, stretching out the 'a'. "You blew your cover."

        I rolled my eyes. My body was lazily propped on the chair, one leg over the armrest and my legs spread out. I was sure Jaxon could see my panties but I paid no attention to his occasional stares. 

        The widespread news of my 'idea' would cause harm to me, according to Jaxon, and although I agree with him, I refuse to back down on the sexism I faced in court. Regardless of my danger, I was bound to hog the credit all to myself. "Whatever. It's hard to find me, anyway." I answered, dangling my leg over the armrest to provoke Jaxon, playfully.

          Jaxon's eyes lingered below before looking up at me with a tint on his cheeks. "Close your legs."

         I cocked an eyebrow.

         "I can smell it from here," he teased, crinkling his nose before pinching his nose and scooting away from me. Jaxon was situated on the floor, having the greatest view. 

        I laughed. "My apologies, I only bathe every three days." 

         Jaxon scoffed, then lifting himself from the floor before groaning, "That was a custom I had to get used to."

         He stretched and sat back down.

        "It's terrible," I said, smiling as I spoke. "Doesn't it scare you that it would've been 2019 over there?"

        "Yes... I adapted to this place, it's going to be so hard to come back and adjust to how everything is." Jaxon was playing with one of my floral pins gifted from Chang Ying.

         A sad smile emerged on my face. "I didn't even think that far ahead yet..." I liked this. Sitting casually on my chair, talking to Jaxon. It was a luxury. It was better than attending constant banquets wearing nice clothes with a stomach full of food and wine. Maybe I lied. I did enjoy the nice clothes. But only as of now, I was sitting on a chair with my sleepwear on. A silky, thin hanfu. 

         The room was silent and I didn't know whether to speak or let Jaxon think things through. We were close. Kind of. I barely get to see him. I wanted to see him more often but... I don't know. It's conflicting. I enjoy the Emperor's company but Jaxon. Jaxon. I could let loose and be myself with him but something about the Emperor attracted me. Maybe it was his demeanour and the way he presented himself. Most importantly, he stood up for me in court. Although he attempted to hide me in the dark, he still ended up standing up for me. As much as I wished to push the two out of my life, I couldn't. There was a bundle of thread always above my head. I always felt like I had to unknot a knot on a silver chain. It was so messy, so messy. So unorganized in my head. I wish I could write my thoughts down but if someone finds papers with foreign letters scrawled on the sheets, I could get myself in big trouble.

        "There's a banquet you'll have to attend today," Jaxon broke the silence. "Evening." 

         I inhaled sharply as I faced him. His eyes danced around my face but landed onto my eyes. His expression changed. Tight-lipped. Jaxon wanted to scoot back to his spot, a little closer to where I was but I can tell he was hesitant. 

          We stared at each other for a few seconds. No words left my lips and neither did he say anything else. His eyes haunted me. I felt something. 

         I exhaled shakingly and darted my eyes away from him. 

         "When will there never be?" I asked, sarcastically and rhetorically. Between my words, I slowly rested my leg back onto the seat and slowly closed my legs.