Chasing for Something

Chapter 18

Chapter 18; Isabella.

I didn't know where I was. I knew I was way too drunk. I was at Corners alone. I had lost Brianna and everyone else. I went inside a bar to check if maybe that's where they were. I couldn't remember what bar we started in. It was difficult.

"A scotch on the rocks." I said to the bartender, he eyed me up and I shrugged.

"ID, please." Ugh, why did he need to see that? I took out my fake ID that Brianna and I had gotten a few months ago and I showed it to him. He nodded and handed me my drink.

I never got caught with that. Never. I drank my drink and it made me feel at ease. Even though I was already at ease. It made me feel calm about being alone at Corners.

I had left my phone at the table at the bar where I was at. But I couldn't remember which one. There were so many I couldn't possibly know which one in this state.

I asked for a margarita, obviously a drink that I did not need. Not one bit. But I didn't care. I was thirsty and I needed the drink. Not really.

Before I brought the drink to my mouth, it was shoved out of my mouth. "You don't need that, Isabella." The voice said. I stiffened up because it was him.

He had been driving me crazy. Honestly, I just wanted him again. I didn't even care about getting hurt anymore. I just wanted him but I knew he didn't want me. I could tell. But then again, why was he here?

"What are you doing here?" I slurred, obviously annoyed at the fact that he had taken my drink. I pouted but he shook his head, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

"Ow, you're hurting me." I mumbled, he scoffed. He actually didn't have a strong grip on me but I wanted to bother him. I didn't really know why, I just did.

He dragged me to his car and opened the passenger door for me, and waited for me to get in. I shook my head and crossed my arms. I was not going to get in the car with him. Not when he didn't want to deal with me.

"Get in the car, Isabella." I shook my head once again and he sighed, gently pushing me into the car and closing the passenger door. I scoffed and was about to scream at him when I realized that there was no point. He wasn't going to change his mind.

Damn him.

"Hey, I got her. Don't worry. Have fun." He said, I didn't know who he was talking to. So, I just assumed he was crazy. I groaned and tried to slip my seat belt on by failing miserably.

He took a deep breath and helped me buckle up. I could tell he was getting frustrated with me. I didn't care.

"This isn't normal." I mumbled, he glanced at me as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed away from Corners.

"What?" He said, obviously aggravated with me. I leaned my head against the window, it was cool and it made my body feel cold.

"This. You're my boss and I'm your secretary. It's not normal." He raised an eyebrow when I looked over at him. He sighed and shook his head.

"What are you talking about?" He said, he kept driving and I noticed he drove away from my apartment complex, I didn't question it.

"Us! For fucks sake, we fucked! That's not normal." I exclaimed, he laughed and kept driving. I noticed he held the steering wheel tighter than necessary.

"You came onto me, Isabella. And it takes two to tango." He said. He's said that before. The morning after, I scoffed and leaned back angry. Yes, I was the one that came unto him. But it still didn't matter. I just wanted him to want me.

"Right. But you went along with it. You wanted it just as much as I did!" I said, if I was sober I would have never had the guts to say this. I would have never said this to his face. We got to his house, at least I think we were at his house and he got out. He waited for me to get out and it took me longer than usual because I was drunk.

He dragged me inside and I groaned. "You're right, okay? I did want it. I wanted it so bad. But no! It's over. It's no happening again." He said, and he glanced over at me. I nodded, and walked back out the door. I needed to leave. I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't slow down. I just wanted to get away from him.

"Isabella, stop. I didn't mean it like that." He said. I shook my head and kept walking.

"No, it's exactly what you meant. You don't want me. And you don't have to sugarcoat it. Okay?!"

"I do want you, Isabella. But we can't." He said, tiredness in his voice. This game was getting too tired for my own good. For his own good. We kept playing around with our feelings and that was why I didn't want to give myself away to him. Yet, I was an idiot who did just that. Because I didn't think. I needed to feel something. But this pain, wasn't it.

"Can't or won't?" I said as I stopped, not turning around to face him. I wouldn't be able to face him when he answered this question. I was far too weak in this moment to take it.

"Won't." He whispered, so softly I almost missed it.

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