Chasing for Something

Chapter 22

Chapter 22; Isabella.

I didn't know what took over me. But suddenly, I needed to be close to him. It was weird.

I didn't want to be with him last week. All I wanted was to forget about him. Yet, here I was sitting in his car telling him to drive.

Honestly, I didn't know what drove me to it. I guess I was just craving his stare, his eyes, his everything. He was so addicting.

I knew there was a reason why he didn't want to be with me. And it wasn't because of his company. It was something else. Something deeper. I was determined to find out tonight.

He smelled great. Like flowers in the summer. The smell filled my nostrils and I welcomed it. It was refreshing. It made me smile.

He glanced my way but I kept my gaze straight ahead. I didn't want him to crush me again. That's what I was afraid of.

Yet, here you are Isabella.

Shut up, brain. Shut up. I just, I needed him.

Isn't it funny how one person can be the reason you're happy, and yet also be the reason why you're miserable?

~•~

There was a saying I heard somewhere, I can't remember where but it stuck with me for a long time.

"If the prospect of doing something doesn't scare you even a little bit, then it's not worth doing it."

And this, this line between happiness and misery, scared me to bits. So, I thought it was worth doing it.

Somehow though, I didn't mind it. I didn't mind that I would end up getting hurt again. Just knowing that I finally had the power to do something out of my comfort zone, comforted me.

And maybe that's why I told Edward to pull over. He did. We were on the side of the road, no other cars around.

It kinda looked like this was the part where the chainsaw guy would come out and cut us to pieces. But I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I turned in my seat to face him as he did the same. He looked tired, exhausted even. I didn't know how I got this courage in me, but I brought my hand up to his cheek. I rubbed my thumb against his skin, under his eyes. Where there were bags forming there already. Even like this, he was attractive.

"Isabella.." He whispered, I nodded and leaned in slightly. I didn't notice my movements, it was like there was someone else inside my body.

I brought my hand up to his hair and ran my fingers through his perfectly gelled hair. I smiled a little as he chuckled.

"What?" I said, barely above a whispered. He shook his head, as I brought my other hand up to his cheek. His skin was soft, soft as a new born.

He was leaning in, not realizing his actions either. I didn't care. I wanted this. I wanted all of this. And I knew it.

He might have been a little older than me, but somehow that was okay with me. I didn't mind it.

The next thing I knew our lips were touching. Sparks shot through my body immediately. It gave me comfort. This kiss weren't like the other we had shared in the past. It was soft and slow.

He brought his hand to the back of my neck and pushed me closer to him. The kiss still didn't become rough. It was nice. The kiss was like a warm summer night, it was calm and gave you comfort. That's what he gave me, comfort.

He slowly pulled his lips away, leaving me breathless. He shook his head as a way of letting me know that this was not okay. I sighed, and rolled my eyes.

He started the car up again and kept driving. His knuckles turning white. I coughed, and I glanced at him.

"Why?" I asked, my voice was soft. Almost broke. Almost. But I wasn't gonna let him see how much the rejection had affected me.

"It just can't happen, Isabella." He said as I rolled my eyes at his answer. But why? What was he hiding? Why couldn't it?

"Why?" I repeated, he shook his head and decided not to answer me. I was getting tired of him hiding this.

"Why?" I repeated, louder this time. I didn't care that he was getting frustrated with me. I didn't. I just wanted to know. I needed to know.

"Because it can't. You are seven years younger than me. That's not okay." He mumbled, and I laughed. Goodness, how pathetic could his answer be!

"Are you serious right now? Because last time I checked we're not teenagers who care about their age when they're about to date." I said, and he rolled his eyes. It was true, though.

He was acting as if we were in high school. Worrying what people had to say.

He ran his hand through his hair and chuckled. Ugh. This man was infuriating.

I was getting frustrated by the second. I just wanted to be with him.

He pulled up into his house, turning the engine off. We sat there for what felt like a long time. When he got out, I did as well. I waited until he got around the car when I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close to me.

I leaned up, and brushed my lips against his. He groaned and shook his head, I brought my hand up and held his head tightly.

"Tell me you don't want me, Edward. Tell me." I said roughly, he rested

his hands on my waist and it sent sparks all over my body for the second time tonight.

"Isabella.." He said, I shook my head and brought his face down so he could look at me.

"Say it, Edward." I said again, I was surprised my voice wasn't giving out. I sounded strong and confident.

Something had definitely changed these past few days. I had gained confidence. Otherwise, I would have never done this. Never.

"Isabella.." He said once again, and I slammed my fist against his chest.

"Say it, Edward. Just fucking say it." I said, as I slammed my fist against his chest for the second time. I kept going, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to cause him pain. I wanted him to feel like I felt when he rejected me.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close, crashing his lips on mine. I was shocked for a minute but gave in. My lips moved in sync with his.

My body felt so light. His lips against mine were nice, they were soft and he worked those lips like magic.

I loved every minute of it.

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I'm also sorry that I've had to change the story updates to Saturday. I started school Tuesday and I do need to focus in it. It sucks, but I really need to.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK. I've written this chapter like twenty time bc I didn't like the outcome of it. I still don't. But oh well.

hehe leave me a comment and tell me what you think?! Ok awesome.

Enjoy!

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xx