Chasing for Something

Chapter 26

Chapter 26; Isabella.

I had woken up to our door pounding. I didn't know who it was but whoever it was gonna get a real smack on the head because it was seriously 5 o'clock in the morning. Are they freaking crazy?

I dragged myself out of bed and walked towards the door to see who it was. Once I reached it I opened the door and was surprised to find a tall guy standing there. At my door. Who the hell was he?

"Uh, hi? Can I help you?" I mumbled groggily and I eyed him up and down and he raised his eyebrow. He looked similar but I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew who he was, thats for sure. I just didn't know who he was. 

"You don't remember me?" He asked, and I slowly shook my head. I mean, was I supposed to? There were so many people I had left behind when I ran away, maybe he was one of them. I had forgotten most of the people I had left behind, because that was the point. I was leaving them behind and starting new. Which let's face it, it was hard for a fifteen year old.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to?' I asked, unsure of what to do next. He chuckled and then shrugged, I raised my eyebrow. Who was he? 

"Ryan." He said like he read my mind. Ryan? I don't remember a Ry- Oh. I remembered. He was the boy who broke my heart at 15. I nodded my head at him and shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. 

"Oh, um, hi? What are you doing here? In my house? At 5 am?" I asked and he apologized for having woken me, I nodded and he shrugged for the second time that morning. While waiting for his answer, I had a mini flashback.

"Look, Naomi, I'm just over it. It's over." He said, without missing a beat. It broke my heart. We had been together for a year, and sure I was only 15 and I 'didn't' know what love was, but I was so sure of this. I was so sure that what I had with him was right. But I was wrong.

"Ryan, just tell me why." I said, it was pathetic how I was trying to hold on to something that obviously wasn't to get fixed. We had been having problems, but I felt like we could get through it and that we were strong enough to get through it, but I guess fighting for our relationship just wasn't something Ryan did. And that tore me up inside. It scared me so much how much I cared for this boy. How fast I was able to come and love this boy and care so much. Too much.

"Dammit, Naomi." He murmured, and I just shook my head. I knew where this was heading and there was nothing I could do to change his mind, even though I wanted to. Ryan made me happy. He was one of the most important individual in my life. He didn't get that. He didn't get my parents. He didn't understand it, and even though I tried so hard to explain to him and tell him what my situation was, he never understood it. He would shrug it off and make me forget about it by making me do things that I might not have been comfortable with, but it always took things off my mind.

"You're right, I'm sorry." I said so softly I was actually surprised he heard me. He raised an eyebrow, not understanding why I was sorry because he was the one breaking up with me. He seemed reluctant to do it, but he had made up his mind and I need to accept the fact that he didn't want to be with me. 

"For what?" He said, as he ran his hand through his hair as he seemed conflicted with himself. I shook my head and shrugged.

"For not being good enoguh for you." I mumbled, and with that I turned on my heel and headed away from him. What was stopping me from running away? There was nothing holding me back now. Nothing. I could be free. I could start fresh, and I could be who I wanted to. I wouldn't be used by anyone anymore. I could be me. 

It made me feel better, yet I was still aching for what had happened with Ryan. I knew I had to move on, but it was so much.

The pain I had felt that day was enough for me to shut myself away from everyone. It's what made me put up a wall to cover my feelings. It was the reason why I didn't trust anyone, and it pushed me to realized that my parents never cared for me.