HIS TOUCH || JAEYONG

Chapter 1 his fear

WARNINGS: homophobia, strong language, mature scenes and ANGST

(don't read if you're not comfortable with any of those)

MYSOPHOBIA = Excessive fear of impurities and germs. Causes person to be extra hygienic and sometimes avoid other people, skin contact and public places.

***

The dry leaves had fallen from the trees on the cold ground. Some would say the weather was perfect and the scenery with colourful trees beautiful. He looked at view in disgust while walking towards the college. He hated it. The autumn. It would mean rain and cold.

He felt an arm grab around his shoulder causing him to flinch. "Are you still like this?"

He immediately knew who was talking and brushed the arm away. He and Ten had been friends since they were little. His friend smiled at him but he turned to look elsewhere. It was their first day of school and he hadn't seen his friend at all whole summer. They were both third years starting today.

"It doesn't just go away, you know that." In his mind everything is dirty. All the places, except his room and his things, are unclean and disgusting. However, the most unclean thing is other people's hands. He can't stand someone touching him or his things.

They reached the doors of their school and he stopped walking. He heard Ten sigh as pushed the door open for him. He can't touch the door handles. If he has to he use his sleeve and sanitizes his hands right after. He didn't want to use gloves to not to draw attention.

"Do you even know how popular you are in this building? Like everyone knows your name." Ten asked as they walked down the aisle. There were many students on the both sides of it. He glanced up to see people staring at him and whispering something.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not popular." He saw that people stared at him where ever he went but he never connected it to being popular. He didn't like attention that much.

"You always say that...so what time do you finish your classes?"

"I stay after classes to study in the library."

"I was just wondering if you'd come to the party tonight but I guess you're just studying then. We have only two years left after all." He had never gone to any parties. Yes, Ten had asked him to go with him for hundreds of times even though he knew what the answer would be. But he didn't want to disappoint his friend today.

"I'll go." He muttered, not bothering to look at him.

"What? Did I just hear right? You said yes?" Ten stopped walking and shouted that everyone heard. His friend grabbed him on the shoulders but the other just backed away immediately. "Oh sorry..."

"Yeah of course I have to see what a college party is like." He answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He still didn't think it was a good idea. But what is done is done. What he knew about partying was that people got drunk and then danced in the crowd. Taeyong started walking again leaving his shocked friend behind. "I'll see you at 9."

***

"Jaehyun stop running away!" Jaehyun heard the girl shouting after him. He had left her when she had started to get too close to him. Girls were scary but he still had to get along with them. He needed to prove everyone that he was one of them who liked drinking and partying. "Come back here you twat!"

He was trying run through the dance floor between the sweaty bodies to get to the door. He glanced over his shoulders to see if she still followed him. What he saw was three girls now running after him. He wasn't a bad guy. He had just refused to have sex with her and he hadn't expected her to run after him like this. Yeah, he had flirted with her and made her believe that he wanted her but he only did it for a show.

He got outside from the bar and started rushing away. Looking over his shoulder he noticed them still following him. He turned around corner and noticed someone walking towards him. He couldn't let that person to tell those girls that they saw him so he grabbed the person and pulled them in the narrow alleyway. He covered the person's mouth with his hand and pushed them against the cold concrete wall.

What is happening? Taeyong looked at the taller man in front of him. He felt a hand on his mouth making him unable to speak. It was a hand of another person. He was touching his face and it didn't feel right. It was disgusting. The man's other hand was pushing him from his shoulder to keep him in a place. He was standing too close for Taeyong's liking. So close that he could smell the man's scent. He felt his heart beating too fast. The man wasn't looking at Taeyong at all.

Jaehyun was out of breath after that running. After a few seconds he saw the girls running past the alleyway they were standing. Luckily it was dark. He let out a relieved sigh.

He then remembered the person he pulled in his mess. He turned to look in front of him to see big eyes staring coldly at him. It was a young man around his age and damn, he was so beautiful. Jaehyun looked in his eyes just studying him until he noticed the fear in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Jaehyun quickly let go of him and he saw as he fell on his knees coughing and breathing in sharply. He had not expected him to react that badly. He crouched beside Taeyong and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me! Go away!" Taeyong slapped the hand away and backed against the wall. He pointed at Jaehyun with frightened expression. If the man had touched him longer, Taeyong could've gotten a panic attack. He had had one before. He breathed unsteadily and he felt his hands shaking. "What do you want from me?!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." Jaehyun said as he got a bit closer to Taeyong.

"Don't come any closer you filthy thing!" Filthy? Jaehyun didn't get why the other was suddenly thinking that he was up to something dirty. Well yeah, it was kind of suspicious to grab people from the streets like that.

"I'm sorry but I don't have any intention of doing something to you if that's what you're thinking. I grabbed you because I was running away from someone and you happened to be on the way." Jaehyun tried explaining. The beautiful boy just stared at him in fear eyes wide open.

"No! You touched me with that filthy hand of yours!" Jaehyun didn't get what the boys was talking. He lifted his hand to look at it.

"Why is it filthy? It's not like I just did something inappropriate with it." Taeyong stood up and searched something from his bag. Jaehyun noticed that his hands were shaking a lot.

"What's your name?" Jaehyun asked suddenly after staring at the other for some time. He noticed him adding something on his hand from the bottle and rubbed the liquid on his hands. Hand cream? Hand sanitizer?

"It's none of your business!" Taeyong glanced at him and tried to leave but Jaehyun put his hand against the wall to stop him. The alleyway was so narrow that the other couldn't go around him.

"Name?" The shorter looked at him like trash. How could he?

"You're not letting me leave any other way?"

"Oh yeah I can come up with something...maybe a phone number or...a kiss? Jaehyun was only joking but the other looked scared suddenly. He was going to apologise but he was interrupted.

"Taeyong. It's Taeyong. Now let me go." Jaehyun let his hand fall and watched the boy rush away. He repeated the name in his mind.

Taeyong felt awful. His heart still wouldn't calm down. A hand had touched his face.

He called Ten to tell him that he was going home. He wanted to take a shower right away. He learned that he'd never try to go to a party ever again.

***

I know what it's like to fear everything you touch in public so I can relate very well to what Taeyong is feeling in this story. It's still not that bad how I describe it here.

About the future updates, I'm not going to update regularly so one to three chapters/week.