It's hard being a fangirl. Yeah, you feel so much happiness. But there's no happiness without sadness. It makes you happy as fuck by just seeing her performing, smiling, or even just breathing. Then it saddens you when you see her leaves the stage, be with a woman or man, or stop performing.
I was so excited because it's my first time to finally meet her personally and in just an hour, she'll appear from her car and sit in the table in front while waving and smiling brightly to us, her fans.
The moment she stepped out of the car, everyone, including me, screamed our lungs out. She's already beautiful, but she's more beautiful in person.
When it was my turn, I put my five copies of her latest album on the table. She stared at them in surprise and chuckled as she looked at me with an amused look.
"You really bought five copies huh." She uttered and started to sign them one by one. Her voice was a bit deep and sweet at the same time. Her voice was always my favorite sound.
"Of course, Jennie unnie. I'd buy more than ten copies of your next upcoming album just for you." I replied energetically while smiling really wide for the whole time. She smiled sweetly and slightly shook her head in amusement.
"Jennie, will you marry me?" I uttered while she's signing the last copy. She finished signing her signature then raised her head to have eye contact with me. Damn, I almost died because of how my favorite pair of eyes just looked at me.
"I'd love to, sweetie. But you know, the company's strict." She flashed her famous smirk then winked at me. Fuck, I wanted to pull her to my car and drive far far away from Seoul but unfortunately many fans are waiting to have their albums or whatever item they want to have her signed so I took my copies and ran away, almost screaming.
What the fuck, I'm really in love with her.
The fan signing event ended and as she waves her hands to us while walking to her car, we suddenly had eye contact then she winked. JISOOS FUCKING CHRIST SHE JUST WINKED AT ME TWICE TODAY!!!!!!
I may now die peacefully.
I know she was kidding when she kinda agreed to my proposal but still, I'm still waiting for miracles.
So I fell in love with my idol named Jennie Kim.
She's popular globally while I'm just one of her fans.
I want to make her mine but I know that that's impossible and that hurts as fuck.
My heart aches everytime I see updates about her and her new close friend, who's also a singer.
She smiles because of her. She laughs because of her. She's happy because of her.
I should be saying 'that should me' but who am I anyway?
I'm just one of her fans.
I cried last night on my pillow when I saw the news of her and Rosé officially dating with a picture of them kissing.
I should be happy. I should be supporting her.
But it hurts so damn much.
Eight years later.
"Goodnight babe." Marchipizza gave me a goodnight kiss and laid down beside me then after a few seconds, I could hear her snorring already. She must be really tired huh.
I couldn't sleep so I faced the other side and unlocked my phone.
My phone's boring since I don't have any games or social media. Instead, I scanned in my gallery when one folder caught my eye.
Love ❤
I clicked it and baam, the folder was full of pictures of her.
I still have her 1069 photos in this folder even after more than five years.
She stopped performing two years ago and yet, here I am, still her fangirl.
I tapped my favorite picture of her.
The picture when she was wearing a cat-ears headband while holding a princess wand during a fan signing event. She looked so cute but still hot.
I smiled sadly as I realized that she really would never be mine. Now that I'm married and she got a family.
I closed the gallery and locked my phone then put it on the bedside table as I stared at the ceiling.
Jennie, I will always be your fangirl.
I'm gonna submit this story to the spectrum club and the dude who's in charge of the club will love me again so praise me bitches
