Truths Untold

Chapter 11: Lunch Struggles

"You've got to be joking that you're honestly a trainee here, Minsae. You don't genuinely think that you're going to debut or be successful at all, do you?" Jingsah questions the next day while I'm trying to work on the choreography ideas.

I sigh for what feels like the millionth time today already and it's not even half past noon. I can hardly concentrate on my work and I can already feel my confidence dropping all over again. I can handle the hate if it's online. If it's not in person to my face. It doesn't help though, that she knows almost all of my insecurities, all of my weak spots.

"Minsae, look at yourself. Honestly. Nobody is going to want you as an idol. Nobody's going to want to come see you perform. While the rest of your band may be gorgeous, you're going to stick out like a sore thumb. You're not in any sort of shape except for round. And nobody wants a round idol. They want to see fit, see muscles.

"Those people are critical and cruel, you don't even have the face for it. Eyes are too big. Lips too big. Your skin won't be dark enough. You're not thin enough in your stomach, you've got a bit of a bump rather than actual abs. Your thighs are far too big and not muscular enough. You're too short. Your ears are double pierced. All of those things are things that people don't want in an idol. Things they don't want to look at.

"And you don't honestly think you have a voice, do you? Come on, Minsae. You could hear yourself in choir class in high school. You know how terrible you sounded. There's a reason you were better in band than choir. There's a reason nobody ever listened to you." She critiques, watching me with folded arms and a disgusted look on her face.

I groan in frustration, stopping my movements once again. Bringing my hands to my head and rubbing gently in attempt to ease my headache, I shake my head slightly.

"Hey!" I hear Jimin's voice as the door opens. Looking over at the doorway, I see it's him and Jungkook. Jimin's busy grinning at Jingsah while Jungkook gives me a small smile, a small bit of worry in his eyes.

"That's where you ran off to. I was wondering what happened to you, Jingsah." Jimin says happily. She blushes slightly, shrugging.

"I'm sorry if I caused any issues. I just came to check on Minsae and see if there was anything she needed. I always wanted to catch up with her for a moment is all." She answers shyly. I roll my eyes, withholding a glare. She always was good at putting on a show for others.

"Oh, no. That's fine! The guys and I are about to go get lunch. I wanted to see if you were interested in joining us?" He explains with a smile.

"If that's okay and isn't going to cause any issues with the media or something, then I'd love to come. Of course, if Minsae doesn't need anything?" She says, looking over at me. The look in her eyes is clear, not that it was entirely necessary. I don't want her here any longer as it is.

"I'll be fine here. Go ahead." I manage to answer. She grins back at Jimin, nodding her head as she skips up to them.

"We also came to see if you wanted to join us, Minnie?" Jungkook offers. I can see the wheels turning in Jingsah's head as he calls me by my nickname and the worry already sets in. She gives me a look though, making it quite clear what the answer needs to be.

"No, that's okay. I have a lot of work to be doing still here anyways. Go ahead and have a good lunch with the girls and everyone." I answer him with a small smile, waving it off. I can feel the pain in my chest from having to turn him down, but I have to stay.

"The girls aren't coming today. Just Hyejin, Solbi, and Won. Are you sure you don't want to join us? You should be getting some lunch, Minnie." He says with a frown.