it's her.

your name.

it's about a friend,
but not just this friendship type of friend
it's more than a
long-distance, just texting and late-night-calling kind of thing

it's not just a friend
who screams a lot
or who's generally pretty loud (especially while chewing)
we don't always talk much,
cause I learned to appreciate silence

I mean,
we're clearly all of this parts,
but more than just listing characteristics in an enumeration

me and her
we seem to be
a strange way of poetry
I think
that's just how we work

it's important to say
that I think a lot works through understanding the other,
even if it's
(in my point of view)
quite difficult to make sense of
what we choose to think

and we had those times, you know?

not knowing what to say,
tensed silence and
everything seemed to be
way too complicated to handle

we had times of not speaking to each other
the real ones
not the one just enjoying the others company
it was the "I can't text her without messing it up" silence

it just sucked

but sometimes (and that's very special)
people decide to keep being in each other's lifes
and it's not about me moving hundreds of kilometres away
to one of those places she deciphers as her home
it's also about her
sending me a letter to my 18th birthday
and me again
calling the minute I understood that
I don't care about possibly messing things up

I liked to construct an allegory about her
one night years ago
she called and sang me goodnight
she sang about a nightingale
that's why I always liked to say that
she taught me how to fly
as I learned
to try to be myself
so to be honest
she's also one of the reasons
I love my tattoo
as much as I do now
(it's about birds flying, you know?)

I want to mention a few of my favourite pieces
of my friendship with her,
cause I think that we have to name the things we love in life
I think it's important to appreciate people
and I especially appreciate her
for enlightening my memories
and for reminding me
that's not necessary to count happenings from the past

cause I realised how
I tend to forget about my future

well,
one of those special things are
words and music,
cause I think
we both have been able to
harmonise as good as
lyrics and a melody
and
I don't know,
if me and her have a refrain,
but we keep adding verses to our song
and I think,
if we keep going on,
we will make an album
and we won't know how to name it,
cause she is quite the opposite of me
and on the other hand
she's the one human being I know
who is able to sound like me
in every possible way

except for her voice,
cause every time she imitates my speaking
she just sounds like a ten-year-old-girl on helium

I know I'm a pretty complicated person
pretty and complicated

and I will make mistakes
I'm scared of hurting her in the future
I'm scared of losing someone I care so much about,
but I believe that's important to know,
but not important to think about all the time

cause I tend to lose myself in worrying

another special part about me and her is the communication,
cause she seems to understand me without words
it sounds cheesy, I know,
but that's what a good friendship is about
she knows my moods better than myself and
I didn't have a clue
how important it is to
have someone in life
who's there, even if it's not for their own benefit

so what's also very lovely about the whole friendship thing
is being selfless and
still feeling fulfilled
that's why I never care about
things like money
or (even more important)
who gets the last slice of pizza

I don't know, if it's about her
being a dog-person,
cause I am clearly too
(really, sometimes I think I love them more than humans)
and I don't know,
if it's about the times in our life as we met,
cause it was an overwhelming time
for the both of us, I think,
but I don't need to figure it out

I'm just happy with it
I'm happy with her
pronouncing my name in the wrong way and
making it sound special,
for her getting angry every time
I play her guitar,
but still letting me keep going on,
I'm very happy with her asking me,
if I want a coffee,
even if I can't remember a time
I said 'no' since I drink coffee at all
I'm happy when she's calling me strange
or a nerd
or a weirdo
or a thousand other things that sound like
"you fool" or "little idiot",
but somehow mean something nice

so maybe a good friendship is also about
offending the other
without being offensive

I don't know
in school I had to write an essay about
seneca and friendship in antiquity
and let me say (to save you from 25 pages about latin philosophers)
he would agree,
if I tell you that a friend is sometimes more than just a friend
and he would understand what I'm trying to say while writing this
(well, actually he wouldn't, cause he couldn't speak english, but you know what I mean)

this is not the first time I write about her
she's pretty inspiring sometimes,
and I know that she'll understand this without me telling her that
this chapter wears her name
(metaphorically)

she'll know it before she reads the line with her loudly chewing
and I believe
being able to read me in my work is one of those special things too

so I sat down this morning
and now it's noon
and I don't know why these words went into my mind,
but
I know that we drove to ikea yesterday,
I know that we danced in her bathroom while brushing our teeth,
I know that we watched harry potter, cause
I have the duty to educate her in those topics,
so
nothing special happened,
but
I really appreciate these moments
I'm really grateful
sometimes
I'm smiling out of nowhere
just because those days do happen

and
maybe that's all we need
I'm not just talking about having those gifts in life-
a good, crazy friendship for example,
someone who's knowing you through the good and the bad,
but also
realising the pretty, little things
and writing them down right now
to recall it as a pretty big thing
and
to tell her that

she's just an awesome person

and I wouldn't change a single piece about what happened to lead us to this day,
to the point when you'll open wattpad,
swipe to the next chapter
and will read this pretty long text
just to get a simple message:

I'm so fucking thankful to have you

who would translate me all the lines in your spanish songs?
who would educate me in important things like podcasts about demi
or how to survive in a city?
(while being a girl from the tiniest valley anyone could think of)

I'm so fucking thankful for you
singing out loud in the car and giving a fuck about the others
I think you're cool for being protective,
if it's comes to the people you love
and for having a heart
no matter, if it's fair or not

I know that you're a diamond too
for showing other people their own worth
and that you're fucking strong,
especially this one time as you cried so much

and I don't know how much time is left for the both of us
maybe one day I will take the keys
and drive to the end of the world
I think we've got time,
cause I don't even have my driver license

but I know that there are a few things
I need to show you
for example the town where I grew up (even if I have to kidnap you),
the ending of harry potter
and I'll kill you, if you spoiler yourself
(you know this would have consequences - for real!)
I need to keep my promise
and hand you the first print of my non-existing book
so you see
I need to publish one day
I think it's nicer to write about such kind of things,

cause I tend to think too much
but I also need to come to an end

so

I hope you have a good day

(text me when you read this, cause I need your opinion)

I SAID GOOD DAY!