Lumina Academy: Light and Shadow (Realm Series #1)

Chapter 35: Forgiveness

Chapter 35: Forgiveness
 
Takot na takot kami ngunit wala ng tutulong sa amin sa sitwasyon na ‘to. Dahil mabilis ang mga bampira ay naabutan nila kami ng walang kahirap-hirap.“Pakawalan niyo kami!” Iyak kami ng iyak habang nagpupumiglas kami sa pagkakahawak ng mga bampira sa amin but their laughter only filled our ears.
 
“Panginoon, nandito na ang hiniling niyo,” wika ng isa sa kanila at hinarap kami sa lalaking mahaba ang itim nitong buhok.
 
Ang putla nito kaya nangibabaw ang pula nitong mga mata habang nakangising nakatingin sa amin—nasisiyahan dahil nahuli kaming muli. “Hmm… princesses,” wika nito at lumapit sa akin kaya napaatras ako. Pero dahil hawak ako ng tauhan niya ay hindi ako nakalayo sa kaniya.
 
He then sniffed my neck that made me cry even more. Lumayo din siya at tinignan kami ng nakatatakot. Nilabas naman niya ang kaniyang pangil and he was about to pierce it on my neck when he stop because of the shouts that it looks like they are in pain. Kaya naman hindi ko mapigilang mapalingon kung saan ‘yon nanggagaling at nakita ko na lang si Oddie na napatumba ang ilang bampira.
 
Because I was determined to escape from these vampires, I pushed myself to summon my power kahit na pinagbawalan ako ni Mimi. Gold fire appeared in my hands and used it to kill vampires who wanted to harm us. But it drained my energy because it’s too powerful to handle and the fact that I’m still learning. Naubos ang kalahati nila kaya muli kaming nakatakbo.
 
We didn’t stop from running pero maya-maya pa ay nadapa si Gen at nakita na lang namin na mayroong dumaplis na matulis na bagay sa kaniyang hita na ikinaiyak niya sa sakit. I am also feeling weak because of what I did earlier and my body felt numb kaya napaupo na rin ako sa lupa—wala ng lakas upang tumakbo mula sa mga bampira.
 
Sobra-sobra ang takot na aming nararamdaman at tanging iyak na lamang ang magagawa namin. That time, I saw how Oddie cried while pushing the two of us to stand up and keep on running. “We have to go… p-please, pilitin niyong tumayo at tumakbo. H-Hindi nila tayo pwedeng makuha muli…” pilit niyang pinatatatag ang kaniyang sarili habang sinusubukan niyang itayo kaming pareho ni Gen ngunit hindi siya nagtagumpay.
 
“O-Oddie…” humihikbing pagtawag ni Gen sa kaniya habang hawak-hawak ang kaniyang sugat.
 
Ano bang nagawa namin at nangyayari ‘to sa amin ngayon? I felt hopeless—we felt hopeless because of our situation. We’re too young to experience this at napahihikbi na lamang ako dahil sa sitwasyon namin na walang kasiguraduhan kung mabubuhay pa na kami. Alam naming mahuhuli kaming muli at sa pagkakataong ito ay baka tuluyan na talaga kami ng mga bampirang humahabol sa amin.
 
“You need to s-stand up… k-kailangan na nating umalis dito…” wika ulit ni Oddie kaya ng sinubukan kong tumayo ay natumba rin ako. Until Oddie stood up and face us. Then she smiled sadly while tears are streaming down from her eyes. “Babalik ako… b-balikan ko kayo. H-Hanap ako ng paraan para mailigtas kayo… hihingi ako ng tulong. I promise,” wika niya at niyakap kami habang umiiyak kaming tatlo.
 
“Odette…” wika ko ng humiwalay siya sa amin at ngumiti sa amin ng malungkot at maya-maya pa ay tumakbo na siya paalis… without looking back.
 
Napayakap na lamang ako kay Gen while trying to make her stop from crying. Parehong nanginginig ang katawan namin dahil sa takot ngunit wala kaming ibang magagawa kung ‘di ang hintayin siya at panghawakan ang kaniyang pangako. We waited her but until vampires found us again, wala pa rin siya…
 
***
 
Napabuntong-hininga naman ako ng maalala ko ang pangyayaring ‘yon—the memory that I don’t want to remember again and I succeed until the abduction happened. Bumalik ang ala-alang ‘yon—kahit maliit na detalye ay malinaw na malinaw sa akin and I have been thinking about that. Especially, the part where someone helped us escaped.
 
Pagkatapos kaming iwan ni Odette at hinintay siya, tsaka naman kami nahanap ng mga bampira. Their lord almost drink our blood and that’s all I know dahil nawalan na ako ng malay and when I woke up, I just found myself lying in my bed inside of my room. Wala namang masamang nangyari sa akin bukod sa nanghina lang ako dahil sa paggamit ko ng kapangyarihan. Buti na lang din at ayos lang sina Oddie at Gen no’n but our friendship changed after what happened.
 
Na-trauma ako sa lahat ng pula’ng bagay na makikita ko at iisipin kong mga bampira ‘yon o kaya naman ay dugo. But as time pass by, nagiging maayos na ako at hindi na takot sa lahat ng pulang bagay na makikita ko. Except sa matang kulay pula and every time I see fangs or any pictures of vampires, bigla-bigla na lamang akong magpa-panic.
 
Our friendship also changed after Gen got mad at Oddie at hindi naman nila ako no’n malapitan dahil nagpapagaling pa ako ng mga panahon na ‘yon and I have no idea about what’s happening to the both of them. Until I learned that Oddie and her Mom left mortal realm and came back here in Luminaria realm kaya hindi ko na siya nakausap pa at tanging si Gen na lang ang nakasasama ko.
 
She also told me that she’s mad at Oddie at pinagtabuyan niya ito no’n. I’m not mad at what she did but she should have widened her understanding that it wasn’t Odette’s fault. She should have listened to her but yeah, it already happened. I am not mad at Odette either because I know that she has her reason and I just hope, Gen will learn how to forgive Oddie and Oddie learn to face us—to face Gen.
 
I badly want to bring back our friendship—our closeness.
 
“Hoy, Lars!” Napabaling naman ako kay Gen ng tawagin niya ako at napakunot na lang ang nuo ko. “Ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo,” saad niya na ikinailing ko lang.
 
Nagawa kong alalahanin ang nangyari no’n at ibig sabihin lamang no’n ay hindi na ako masyadong takot sa kanila—sa mga bampira. But then, I also remembered the two-person who helped us back then. Especially… that boy whom I promised one thing—na magkikita kaming muli. We already did… but the question is, does he know or does he remembers me? Did he… did he really waited for me like what he promised to me?
 
I have been thinking about that but I guess, he can’t remember me at all. That’s sad, yes, but yeah, that’s life and all I have to do is to move on. Hindi ko naman gustong ipaalala sa kaniya ‘yon dahil naalala ko pa kung paano siya nasaktan ng mawala ang kaniyang lolo. I don’t want to remind him that memory anymore because it was painful for him and I don’t want to bring back that pain again para lang maalala niya ako.
 
It is better in this way…
 
“Lars, bakit sabi no’ng tumulong sa amin para mahanap kayo, kilala mo raw siya at kaibigan mo siya,” puno ng kuryosidad ang kaniyang mukha habang nakatingin sa akin. “Sino ba ‘yon?” Tanong ni Gen.
 
Pinatayo ko muna si Caelum habang hawak ko siya sa kaniyang magkabilang kili-kili niya bago siya sinagot. “Anong itsura niya?” Tanong ko habang nakakunot ang nuo. Sino naman yung nagki-claim na kaibigan ko? I am not that friendly way back in mortal realm and aside from Gen, Odette, Azriel, and Castiel, I have no friends anymore, kaya, sino?
 
“Hindi namin nakita ang mukha niya dahil natatakpan ng hood niya,” napakunot naman lalo ang nuo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. “But! She has this gold hair and a very authoritative tone. Is that enough for you to remember who she is?” Napaisip naman ako dahil sa sinabi niya pero wala naman akong maalalang kaibigan ko na mayroong gintong buhok.
 
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” umiling pa ako. “She’s from?”
 
“I have no idea—we have no idea. She was a mysterious person who appeared when you and Prince Aiden disappeared and gave the rarest device that can open a portal—the key to open the portal of different realms. Do’n pa lang, alam na naming hindi siya pangkaraniwang nilalang. She’s a mystery that we wanted to unfold yet it was hard to do so. At saka, hindi na siya nagpakita pa after no’n at ng makabalik na kayo dito, bigla na lamang nawala ang bagay na galing sa kaniya. But if you didn’t know her, she said that she is Queen Goddess,” mahaba niyang salaysay habang inaarok ko naman ang aking isipan.
 
The rarest device… the device or the key to open the realm’s portals. Sa pagkaka-alam ko, isang myth lamang ang bagay na ‘yon ngunit madami ang nagpatutunay na totoo ‘yon and it happened that Alphas and Mimi used that device that was given by a mysterious person—the Queen Goddess. It was rare just like someone who possess the ability to open every realm’s portal. It was said that it was one of the sacred things and knowing that someone was possessing that device makes me wonder who she is.
 
“I don’t know her but I feel like she is an ally,” I only said and she nodded. Natahimik ang pagitan namin hanggang sa mapansin ko ang nakalolokonh ngisi sa kaniyang labi na ikina-taka ko naman.
 
“Hoy…” saad niya at mapanuri ang matang nakatingin sa akin. “Anong ginawa niyo ni Prince Aiden no’ng magkasama kayo, ha?” Nang-uusisa niyang tanong na ikina-simangot ko na lamang.
 
“Ewan ko sa ‘yo!” Sagot ko na ikinatawa naman niya. Akala naman niya, nando’n kami para magsaya! Eh, nai-kwento ko na nga sa kaniyang madami kaming nakalaban na mga rogue vampires!
 
I didn’t tell them the nakakahiyang part.
 
“Ayieeee! Prince Aiden pala, huh?” Then she started to tease me and ship me to him na ikinailing ko na lamang at lumingon kay Caelum na nakatingin din pala sa amin habang nakangiti. “Baby Cae, look at Mamma! She already found your Pappa!” Hindi naman ako makapaniwalang tumingin kay Gen dahil sa kalokohan niya.
 
Ngunit mas lalo akong hindi makapaniwala dahil mukhang naintindihan pa ng anak ko ang sinabi ng kaniyang Tita dahil tuwang-tuwa siya ng sabihin ‘yon ni Gen—oh, yeah, Caelum can understand things now. Kulang na lang ay magsalita na siya at makasabay sa pag-uusap namin.
 
I should always remind them that Caelum can understand us.
 
“Oh, see that, Lara? Your son is also a shipper of LaIden love team!” Napanganga na lamang ako dahil sa sinabi niya at kung hindi ko lang siguro hawak si Caelum ay baka nabatukan ko na ‘to. “Ayieee! Crush niya si Aiden~” she keeps telling that habang sinusundot-sundot pa ang tagiliran ko. Tila nakikisali rin si Caelum dahil tuwang-tuwa rin siya dahil sa pinagsasasabi ni Gen.
 
Dahil sa nangyayari ay naalala ko ang kahihiyang ginawa ko sa kaniya ng huli kaming magkasama na ikinapula naman ng pisngi ko. I can’t believe that I did that—but he seems likes my touch. Oh, deities! Nakaka-inis kasi si Gen, eh! Nakalimutan ko na nga, pinaalala pa niya!
 
“Ay, sus! Bakit namumula ka?” Can someone remind me that she is my best friend? “Kinikilig ka, ‘no?” Asar na naman niya na lalo ko namang ikinapula. Bumilis rin ang tibok ng puso ko ng dahil do’n na ikinasimangot ko na lamang.
 
Oh, my gosh! Halata na ba ako?!
 
“Shut up!” Tanging nasagot ko na lamang na ikinatawa niya ng malakas. But it’s time to turn the table, baby. “So, what if I had crush on that emotionless prince?!” Nakasimangot kong sagot na ikinatawa naman niya ngunit ng mapansin niya ang pagkaka-ngisi ko ay natigilan siya. “Eh, ikaw nga, you have cruht on that grumpy prince, eh!” Balik asar ko at nakita ko na lamang ang pulang-pula niyang mukha kaya ako naman ngayon ang tumawa ng malakas.
 
Akala niya, huh!
 
***
 
Clara Odette White
 
I can’t take it anymore. I miss the two of them. Hindi ko na kayang tiisin itong nararamdaman ko. Gusto ko na ulit silang makasama kaya nakapagdesisyon na ako—I will now face them because I can not face another day while still feeling guilty because of what happened. I wanted to fix our friendship—I wanted to apologize to them now.
 
I still can remember how Genevieve shouted at me—the hatred in her eyes that weakened me. It was painful to see your best friend hated you and despise you to the core. But only Gen that I have a chance to talk—to face that time because Lara was badly traumatized that time and Tita Raine and Tita Mina said that she doesn’t want to face anyone aside from the two of them.
 
I am always looking for courage to face them ngunit napangungunahan ako ng takot—naduduwag ako ngunit kung patuloy akong maduduwag ay tuluyan ng mawawala ang pagkakaibigan naming tatlo. Years had passed and I am still living in our past that destroyed the friendship we had. I am going to apologize and try to explain myself to them again that I failed to do before. Kahit na makapagpaliwanag lamang ako at mapatawad nila ako ay ayos na sa akin.
 
But I am still hoping to bring back our friendship…
 
I look for them until I saw them in flower bed garden at silang dalawa lamang ang nandito bukod sa mga pixies na may mga sariling mundo. I saw them laughing and I just smile sadly because I have been missing to laugh with them together. I inhale several times—humuhugot ako ng lakas ng loob bago napagpasyahang lapitan na sila. Ngunit habang naglalakad ako palalapit sa kanila ay sobra-sobra naman ang kabang nararamdaman ko.
 
I can do this!
 
They are facing me sideways and I noticed the child that Lara was holding na tila nakikisali rin sa kanila. The baby was adorable but I can not appreciate how adorable the baby is because of what I am feeling right now. Hanggang sa makalapit na ako sa kanila na siyang ikina-tigil naman nila ng maramdaman nila ang aking presensya.  Nilaro ko naman ang nanlalamig kong mga daliri dahil sa sobrang kaba na nararamdaman, lalo na ng sabay silang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin.
 
“G-Gen… L-Lara…” nanginginig kong pagtawag sa kanila.
 
Ilang beses pa akong huminga ng malalim at ikinalma ang aking sarili. Now, they stood up and also faced me and because I don’t want to see the hatred in their eyes—especially from Gen’s eyes, I look down and bit my lower lip. I felt anxious as I felt their eyes on me. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko—basta ang alam ko lamang ay nandito ako upang humingi ng tawad sa kanila. It maybe too late but I hope, they will still forgive me for what I did.
 
“May kailangan ka?”
 
Napatigil naman ako ng marinig ko ang boses ni Gen. Her tone was emotionless and I can already imagine his emotionless eyes while looking at me. Sa kanilang dalawa ni Lara, siya ang alam kong pinaka-galit sa akin at ramdam ko ‘yon hanggang ngayon. While Lara, well, she is a very sweet, nice, and kind lady and I doubt if she’s even mad at me. She is the most understandable person that I have known but I still wanted to apologize to her.
 
They almost died because of me after all…
 
“Odette…”
 
Awtomatikong napaangat naman ang ulo ko ng marinig ko ang malambing na boses ni Lara but I noticed the baby that she was carrying earlier was gone and I have no idea where the baby now. Nang tinignan ko si Lara ay tila gusto ko na lamang umiyak ng makita ko ang masuyo niyang tingin sa akin na tila sinasabing magiging-okay lang ang lahat.
 
I cleared my throat before looking at Gen and my chest just tightened when I met her cold stares. “What’s bring you here? What do you want?” Tanong niya ulit ng wala pa ring emosyon kaya sunod-sunod na lamang akong napalunok.
 
“Gen…” Lara’s soothing voice filled my ears kaya pinilit ko na ang sarili kong magsalita.
 
“I-I’m here to…” huminga ako ng malalim at pinalakas ang aking loob—pinipilit na magsalita ngunit pakiramdam ko ay umurong na ang dila ko.
 
“What?” Sikman ni Gen kaya naibaba ko na lamang ang ulo ko ulit.
 
“Genevieve! Give Odette a chance to explain herself, will you?” I heard Lara at dahil sa sinabi niya ay nabuhayan ako ng loob ngunit namuo na lamang ang luha ko dahil sa narinig ko mula kay Gen.
 
“Give her a chance to explain?! Lara, are you out of your mind?! Give me a reason to give her a chance to explain herself!” Genevieve is getting angry now and she doesn’t like what Lara told her.
 
Dahil hindi ko gustong mag-away sila ng dahil sa akin ay nagsalita na ako bago pa makapagsalita si Lara. “I-I’m sorry…” the first words I said before my tears fell down. They both look at me with different emotions which made me cry even more. “I-I’m s-sorry dahil umalis ako ng walang paalam at hindi nagpapaliwanag s-sa inyo…” wika ko at tinutukoy ko ang pagbalik ko dito sa Luminaria realm. “Sorry k-kung mas pinili kong t-takbuhan ang problema natin kaysa h-harapin kayo…” humihikbing wika ko habang nakayuko ang ulo.
 
Hindi ko kayang tumingin sa mga mata nila, lalo na kay Gen dahil baka pagtabuyan niyang muli ako. She hated me and I understand where her hate was coming from. Tahimik lang naman sila and I guess, Genevieve just gave me a chance to finally explain myself to her—to them and I won’t waste that chance. I will just going to apologize and explain myself. I am not here to say excuses.
 
“I’m sorry dahil no’ng nangyari insidenteng ‘yon, hindi na ako bumalik kahit pa nangako a-ako…” napahikbi na lamang akong muli habang inaalala ang nakaraan. “N-Natakot ako… n-nangako akong babalikan ko kayo p-pero hindi ko na n-nagawa dahil ang duwag-duwag ko!” Humagulgol ako ng iyak na may kasamang hikbi. It wasn’t just me who’s now crying but also them and it broke my heart even more. “B-But I swear, I c-came b—” hindi na ako pinatapos pa ni Gen mas lalong nagpaiyak sa akin.
 
“NO! HINDI MO GINAWA, ODETTE!” Sigaw niya at kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya ang sakit. “Hindi mo kami binalikan kahit nangako ka pa! Pinanghawakan namin ang pangako mo… ngunit anong ginawa mo?! You promised yet you broke your own promise!” Sigaw niya habang humihikbi na rin. “Hinayaan mo kami! Hindi lang ikaw ang natakot no’n, Odette! Kami rin! Lalo na ng kamuntikan na kaming mapatay ng mga bampira na ‘yon! You promised that you will come back and look for help, ngunit halos mapatay na kami ng mga bampira, WALA KA PA RIN!” Iling na lang ang tanging naisagot ko kay Gen kahit na madami akong gustong sabihin sa kaniya ngunit hindi ko magawang maibuka ang aking bibig.
 
“G-Genevieve… Odette…”
 
“But you know what? Kahit wala ng pag-asang balikan at iligtas kami ng ate namin ay umasa pa rin kami na babalik pa siya at ililigtas kami!” Iyak lang ang tanging nai-tugon ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
 
Lumingon ako kay Lara at nakita siyang nakatakip ang dalawang kamay niya sa kaniyang tenga and that’s when I remembered that she hate this kind of scene. She has a good heart after all at ayaw niyang nakakikita o nakaririnig ng mga taong nagtatalo o nag-aaway sa kaniyang harapan. I just wanted to hug her tight but I think, I just frozen in my spot.
 
“Tama na…” umiiling-iling na si Lara habang nakatakip pa rin ang dalawa niyang kamay sa kaniyang mga tenga.
 
“B-Bumalik ako… b-binalikan ko ka—”
 
“HINDI! HINDI KA BUMALIK! PINABAYAAN MO KAM—”
 
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
 
Pareho kaming napatigil ni Gen dahil sa pagsigaw ni Lara. We both look at her as we felt the wind and the sky is already dark—close to raining kahit na kanina ay ang ganda ng sikat ng araw. Hindi rin nakatakas sa paningin ko ang pagpalit ng kulay ng kaniyang mga mata na ngayon ko lamang na kita. It turned crystalline blue ngunit saglit lamang ‘yon.
 
She both looks at us—Gen and I while her eyes are in pain—she’s in pain and I couldn’t stand seeing her like that. “Gen…” she looks at Gen—eyes begging. “Please? Let’s hear her out…” even her voice was begging while tears are streaming down from her eyes.
 
Lara was hard to resist—everyone who surrounds her will turn into softy when it comes to her—even the hard, emotionless, cold, heartless, and ruthless person will be softened if it was Lara that we are talking about. It was like, it was her power to turn everyone into a soft one and make them follow her without questioning her. She can wrap everyone in her delicate hands even without her knowing.
 
“Explain…” said Gen kaya muli akong nabuhayan ng loob.
 
Ito na ang pagkakataon ko kaya huminga ako ng malalim at pinakalma ang sarili bago nag-umpisang magsalita. “N-Nang oras na tumakbo ako, n-natakot akong bumalik pero naisip ko kayo… b-but while I was in my way, nakasalubong ko sina Tita R-Raine… natagalan akong makahingi ng tulong lalo pa’t mayroong mga bampira ang humahabol sa akin. Kaya ng balikan namin k-kayo… nakita k-ko na lang kayong nakahiga at walang m-malay…
 
“I was so afraid that day but I fought it—naduwag ako ngunit alam kong pinanghahawakan niyo ang pangako ko. I was so close to giving up but thinking that you are in danger, I pushed myself to kill those vampires who are coming on my way and trying to stop me. I almost lose consciousness but I keep myself awake dahil iniisip kong ako na lamang ang pag-asa ninyo—ng mga kapatid ko… until I got bumped with Tita Raine that’s why we rushed where I left the two of you.”
 
I kept this a secret and asked Gen’s family and Lara’s to let me explain my side to them and they gradually said yes. Gusto ko, ako ang magpaliwanag at ng gagawin ko na ‘yon ay pinagtabuyan ako ni Gen. I am expecting that already but I was still hoping that time that maybe, they are not blaming me for what happened.
 
“I’m sorry for being a coward… I a-am sorry for—” hindi ko naituloy ang aking sasabihin ng maramdaman ko na lamang na mayroong yumakap sa akin at napaiyak na lamang lalo ng makilala kong si Gen ‘yon. I hug her back—isang mahigpit na yakap na tila ayaw ko na siyang pakawalan.
 
I have been yearning for her hug… for my little sister’s hug…
 
“All those years… all those years I stayed mad at you and I swear, ang bigat no’n sa diddib,” rinig kong wika niya habang nakayakap pa rin sa akin before she moved to look at me at nakahinga na lamang ako ng maluwag ng makita ko ang malambot niyang ekspresyon. “Sorry dahil pinagtabuyan kita…” saad niya but I shake my head.
 
“No… it wasn’t your fault,” I said but she also shake her head.
 
“No… I’ve become narrow-minded, Oddie… I never even tried to listen to you. I was so scared that time that I blame everything on you which is wrong. I didn’t even think of you—I didn’t even ask if you are okay—if you are fine. I didn’t think that you might be the one who saved us… I am selfish! I only think of myself! I’m so sorry, Odette… I’m so sorry…” humihikbing wika ni Gen at kitang-kita ko ang pasisisi sa kaniyang mga mata kaya niyakap ko siyang muli. “I have no right to be mad at you—ikaw dapat ‘yon…” umiiling-iling ako habang pinatatahan siya.
 
“I’m not mad at you, Gen… I’m not…” madamdamin kong wika habang yakap ko pa rin siya hanggang sa maramdaman kong yumakap na rin sa amin si Lara.
 
“Forgive yourselves… forgive each other… accept your mistakes and let’s fix our friendship, so, that we can start again…” said Lara before I hugged her back while still hugging Gen.
 
“We will…”
 
***
 
Author’s note:

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