DARLIN' , tom holland

lxi. | real life

"hey."

tom removed his gaze from his hands, looking up. he watched as gwen bit her lip nervously, her eyes as bloodshot as his. it was obvious that neither of them had gotten much sleep.

"can i sit here?"

tom nodded his head, staying silent as gwen sat on the chair next to his. the girl handed him a cup which tom accepted, muttering a soft thank you.

"i'd get you tea but i figured that you needed something to wake you up a little." tom gave her a small smile, too tired to do much more.

"i know you're blaming yourself for all this," gwen started, her eyes on tom. "and don't even try to deny it because you and i both know that what i'm saying is the truth. why are you blaming yourself when it's not even your fault?"

"if i just didn't leave her alone by herself, if i just didn't jump into my own conclusions so quickly, if maybe i just listened. i mean i've got multiple rumors about me too, don't i? i should know that not everything can be trustworthy. i should've known that you should always wait for confirmation because the media is mostly full of lies and deceit. i just-," tom cut himself off, sighing in frustration.

"i just want her back but she probably hates my guts. i don't blame her if she does, i've been a complete dick towards her."

both gwen and tom glanced at a certain door, the one in which arisa was being kept it. gwen looked back at tom, her heart aching even more for him. she knew he loved her best friend, and she knew how much it pains him to think that it was all his fault when it really wasn't. he couldn't have done anything, even if he had wanted to.

"arisa loves you with her entire heart," gwen told tom. "she could never hate you, even if she tried— and i'm not just saying that. she's tried multiple times to despise you, especially when she realized that she had feelings for you and the day you claimed that you two needed a break. she said she couldn't hate you because you're such an adorable little dork— her words, not mine."

tom felt a genuine smile rise on his face— sure, it wasn't the biggest smile he's ever had but it was the first real one. the past two weeks have just been too stressful, tiring, dreadful— nothing to smile about.

"i don't think i've ever seen her as happy as she was when with you, even back then with connor," gwen continued. "i mean yeah, she was happy but it's just different, you know? it's like seeing a kid open gifts on christmas and finding his favorite toy. every time i called, i could hear the happiness in her voice. she was always excited and just so, so lively. you would think that the greatest thing in the world just appeared right in front of her eyes."

"and i ruined that," tom sighed. gwen shook her head, her heart filling with pity for the dejected boy. "no, you didn't."

"yeah, that's not what you implied when you texted me," tom snorted which caused gwen to roll her eyes. "alright so maybe i could've been a little nicer and not just throw it all up in your face. i was just in a rush and you wanted to hear the whole truth so you can't really complain. but hey, at least i got the message across."

"if telling me that i'm a prick was the message, then i definitely have gotten the point."

gwen fought back the urge to roll her eyes once again and hit the boy as hard as she could and throw him across the galaxy. "i just told you that none of it was your fault and that arisa loves you, jesus christ. maybe you could've tried to understand it better but quit acting as if you're the reason why she's in there right now. you're tom fucking holland, not connor the asshole. it's his fault she's here, it's his fault she's suffering. his fault, okay? not yours."