All I've Ever Known

18. Minds Change Like The Weather

"Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

-James Baldwin

a women's hospital in Nashville

"I took three and all three of them were positive," Taylor said to her doctor, Doctor Megan Knightson.

The doctor nodded and wrote something down on her clipboard. Taylor was holding my hand so tightly I thought it was gonna fall off.

"Alright then, well I'm going to run a quick UTP test and then we'll set you up for an ultrasound for sure ok guys?" Doctor Knightson said.

We both nodded. Taylor squeezed my hand.

"Ok, Taylor, sweetie, come with me. And Taylor, sorry, you'll have to wait in the waiting room for just a few minutes ok? Then I'll have you come back for the ultrasound."

I groaned but said ok. I kissed Taylor quick and gave her hand a squeeze, then disappeared to the waiting room. The doctor said a few minutes but it felt like hours. I noticed the receptionist discretely laughing at me, but I ignored her. I was nervous as hell! When I was finally called back into a different room I saw Taylor laying on a table and a TV with a black and white picture on it. I immediately had a change of heart. I had always wanted a baby with Taylor. Eventually. But now, I couldn't wait. I pulled up a chair next to Taylor and gripped her hand.

"I'd like to congratulate you both, you're baby is looking healthy. And you're about 3 weeks along in you're pregnancy Taylor," she looked at me and smiled, "Other Taylor."

We all laughed and I kissed Taylor's neck gently. The doctor went on to tell us both things that we should do and things we should not do. The doctor gave Taylor a list of foods and activities to avoid, specifically the farther along she gets.

Then she reverted our attention to the small monitor above her head. I'll be honest with you, right away, all I saw was black and white fuzzy strips.

"Although there isn't much you can see at this stage, considering you're not very far along, you can still see your baby, it's right there, bottom left hand corner of the screen," Doctor Knightson said.

Taylor squealed with delight. I smiled and kissed her lips quick. She clenched my hand even harder. The doctor continued to talk, but I was too busy watching Taylor to listen. She was so excited about this. Yeah I had wanted to wait until we were married, but the look on her face is to die for. She's really happy about this. So of course I am too. I mean, the thought of having a baby is really exciting all on its own. But having it with Taylor, the love of my life, my best friend, the girl of my dreams, my whole world, yeah that makes it so so so so so much better. I'll do anything to make Taylor happy. Because when she's happy, I am too.

We left the hospital soon after. We were both silent on the way home. We walked through the door and I think the same thought crossed our minds.

What are we gonna do now?

I looked at her and scooped her up in my arms. I sat down on the couch and set her down on my lap. I placed my hands on her very toned flat belly. Which, with time, will get bigger and rounder. She placed her hands over mine.

"Nothing there yet Taylor," she said.

"Give it some time, you'll start to show soon enough," I replied.

"Isn't it funny how this morning we weren't sure if this is what we wanted, but now we're both all in?" she asked.

I chuckled. "Yeah it is, I guess it never hit me until we were with your doctor in that room, that I really wanted this."

"Me too, Taylor," she replied.

I rubbed my hands against her belly, still trying to comprehend the fact that there was a baby in there. That there was OUR baby in there.

"Well," I said, "What do we do now?"

"Hmm, well we've been meaning to get married haven't we?" she responded, "Oh there's also our parents too......" she trailed off.

"Oh shit, I forgot about them," I muttered, "But, more importantly, I really want to be married to you," I said.

I saw her smile as she gripped my hands. "Maybe we should move the date up?" Taylor suggested.

"I'm all for it," I agreed.

"Well then let me go so I can call the wedding planner," she squealed happily.

I sighed dramatically. "What a downfall!"

She giggled and pecked my lips, then flounced to the bedroom to get her phone.

I sat on the couch thinking about how fast this day changed. We had woken up this morning two kids in our 20s, engaged and scared and unsure and even now we were still engaged and unsure, but we're a lot happier and less scared. I loved Taylor and wanted to have a family with her and that's what was happening right now so I can't really complain.

I leaned back on the couch and turned on the TV. Law & Order was on. I laughed to myself. Not a surprise. After about an hour, Taylor walked back into the living room and sat on my lap. She kissed me lightly on the nose.

"Gee I thought you got lost!" I said.

She giggled and explained how after she had called the wedding planner she had called her parents to tell them the news.

I jerked my attention away from the TV to her. "How did they respond?"

"Well..." she said while twirling a strand of hair around her finger, "They were pretty surprised at first. But they're really excited to be grandparents I guess. Yeah, they're happy for us."

I relaxed some. She tapped my chest with something in her hand. I looked down. It was her phone.

"Now," she said with a grin, "You gotta call you're parents."

I grinned nervously back at her as I dialed the number to my parents' house in LA. All I could think was I hope they're ok with this.