Stranger

ch19

A fuming demon was never a good thing.

And that was me right now. That's how I have been for the whole week, ever since I came back last Sunday. 

I had escaped from there like I had been chased. Quickly saying goodbye to mom, I had been out of there in a bat of an eyelash. The whole stay after the meeting with my father had made me felt like I was suffocating. That's why I needed to escape. 

Never had I thought that this mansion would become my safe heaven, but it had. This attic was my hideout and the only place far away from everything, so I could clear my thoughts. Not all of them though since the one person poisoning my mind right now was not that far away. 

Closing down and not letting people in had been hard at first, but very quickly it had become easy to me as breathing was. I didn't care about other's feelings, about if I hurt them or not, about their opinion about me, I didn't give a shit about a fucking thing! And I had gotten quite the reputation from this. Females loved a tough, strong guy who'd rough them up. They had thought that this was me, but it wasn't, much to their disappointment. 

Then, word had spread that I was a troubled teen that needed saving. This also was a hit with the ladies. In a way, it wasn't wrong because I had been troubled, but the thing that I didn't want was others to come and try save me from it. Which turned out to be just the thing they did.

So, I pushed others away and pulled myself in and everything was great. Then I went and did the terrible mistake of allowing for a human to peek inside. I will regret that until the rest of my days.

I had actually believed Evie, that was the thing that stung the worst. I had bought all that crap of her being a good person, of her wanting to be friends with me, of her acts about Roger hurting her, I had bought all that fucking shit. 

Then I had gone and told her my life story, acting like the fucking fool I was. Thinking that I was fucking opening her to a whole another world that she had already known about. How fucking stupid had I been, right? Like everything that had happened in my life hadn't taught me one fucking lesson. Never trust anyone beside yourself!

My trainer always told me to keep my emotions away from business, keep my mind blocked from others so no one could manipulate me. And I had fucking succeeded in that, until now at least. 

It was fucking ridiculous that it had taken a human to break through me, faster than my own mother. I had allowed a human to see me as no one else did and I was to blame for what was happening right now, but I just couldn't not hate her too. 

She was heartless, despicable, vile, worthless person that I hated, despised, loathed more than even my father. Or so I told myself that. 

I repeated the same fucking words over and over, reminding myself as to what should I be thinking of her, but, at the end of the day, I just couldn't convince myself to do so. I had allowed her to sink her claws to deep and now I couldn't pull them out. 

Evie was perfect. In every sense of the words. She was all one would look in search for an amazing person and it all was still fucking vivid in my brain, all her little jokes, her smile, her winks, her teases, her eyes, everything, and I couldn't erase them.

It hurt. To know that the one person I actually started to like was working against me from the very start burned my chest with pain. To realize that I had been nothing but a mission while I thought that she actually liked me for me. How fucking insane is that? And more importantly is the question as to why I hadn't doubted it from the beginning. 

No one wanted me as a fucking friend, all they did was need me or use me for leverage. Not one breathing creature, apart from my mother, chose to be around me on their own. She had fooled me into believing the opposite. And I still couldn't hate her the way I should and the way I wanted.