Trust

~chapter seventeen~

Jacks p.o.v:
Josie scoffs and looks at the ground
And I just sigh.
She slowly walks out of the room and closes the door... so maybe it's just going to be me today.
I hear the bath running. And the door close.
Me: don't do anything stupid Josie!!
Josie: not like you can stop me!!
Shit
I run to the bathroom door and it's locked. I start pounding on the door. And she grunts. She opens the door wearing a towel. She rolls her eyes
Josie: you wanna remove any sharp objects and make sure the water ain't deep enough... so if I sit in it... it doesn't even feel like I am sat in water?
I scowl: Josie!
Josie: what! I wasn't planning on doing anything! I'm not that weak anymore! I think I would have done it by now if I was thinking of it!
Me: Josie... please! Talk to me...
She rolls her eye: nothings wrong Jack! I told you everything! I told you how I feel! Now you just have to deal with it!
She tries to close the door but I put my foot in the way.
Me: okay... maybe you have told me everything! Does it look like I want to talk to you about that!
She shakes her head: I can't read people Jack!
I nod: okay... speak to me please... it's lonely out here...
Josie: ring your girlfriend!
Me: Josie! God! Do you ever think I just want to speak to you! And not her! But sure I could ring her and ask her to come over! But where would you go! What would you do?
She shrugs: I don't know... go to the bar...
I cut her off: exactly and we all know what happened the last time you did that!
She rolls her eyes: fine!! What do you want to do? Cause I am done caring!
———————
Josie's p.o.v:
I can tell he got mad at what I said but he just shakes it off.
Jack: movie... Netflix? Anything!
I nod and gesture for him to move out of my way. He does and I walk into Harvs room. And grab one of his old hoodies. I throw it on with a pair of my comfy shorts.
I walk back out and jack is sitting in the 'Mindy' room. I sit on the other side of the sofa and he turns on the tv. I see a romantic movie and smile. He notices and clicks on it. I know he hates these types of movies.
Me: thanks...
Jack: for what...
Me: I know you don't wanna watch this...
Jack smirks: yeah... but you do... so we will watch it.
I smile and carry on watching the tv.
———————
It gets to the most 'sexual' part of the movie and I get really awkward. I can feel jack staring at me.
I laugh: can you stop!
Jack: what!?
Me: your practically undressing me with your eyes!!
He laughs and looks away: sorry missy!!
I scowl: don't call me that!
We both laugh. I notice jack has moved closer to me but say nothing.
I smile: you finding it interesting?
Jack shakes his head: I don't really understand it!
Me: why?
Jack: cos the girl... right she loves both of them... and they both like her... she is breaking down because of it! Why doesn't she just tell them how she is feeling... yano like say! I like you both! But I cant do this right now!
I look at the ground: because some times it isn't that easy... and anyway if she did that the movie would be over within a matter of minutes!
Jack: would be a better movie!
I kick him: oh no! This is way better! I mean the dudes are hot!
He rolls his eyes
Me: what!!
Jack: your taken Josie!
Me: it's not like the actors are gonna walk through the door. And scoop me up!
We both laugh. Jack leans in. I can tell Whats coming. And yet I don't move. In fact I freeze.
His lips slowly hit mine. He moves closer and puts his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. I can feel his body against mine. I still don't kiss back. But I can't move away. I tap his back with my hand and he pulls back.
Me: jack... please... stop...
Jack: Josie... I...I... love you! You know I do! You didn't pull back!
Me: i didn't kiss you back though! You didn't really give me much choice!
He smiles and looks at the floor: sorry...
Me: we ended... jack... you know this! You've known this for a while!
Jack: and know matter what I do... my mind just tells me to kiss you!
Me: and mine tells me this...
I point at him and then at me.
Me:... is wrong! It can't keep happening jack! You have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend! We are both in love with different people! And even though we have feelings for each other... we can't act on them... because we both know we love our partners more!
Jack: you what?
Me: what...
Jack: you said we BOTH have feelings for each other...
I look at the floor: shit! Okay... I did... because you were the first person I told everything to! You were the first person who stole my heart jack... even though you broke it... your still in there... and no matter how much I try your still in there...
Jack smiles: does that mean you love me?
I shake my head: I don't know what it means jack... it means... you were the first person I loved... I can't let you go!
Jack: do I have a chance?
I shake my head: I love Harv more then anything jack... I can't let him leave my life like I let you... seeing him mad today really upset me! I want to make him happy! He deserves better then me... I am lucky I got him...
Jack: no! He is the lucky one... he got the best thing he can with you! I was an idiot to let you go! And if I could prove to you that I am not like that... I would...
He moves closer again like he is about to kiss me but I pull back: jack... please I know you don't want this!
Jack: but I do...
Me: I don't!
I get up and leave the room. I hear him hit his hand against the sofa.
Jack: fuck!!
I walk into Harvey's room and start to cry in his bed...
Why now jack! When I have moved on...