A Four-Letter-Word Called LOVE (COMPLETE - ENG Translation On-Going)

Act Fifty-Five

Chris:

"H-How--- How did you find me? I-I mean, how are you?"

That was me, cutting the deafening yet long silence between Bella and me that surrounds us. We're inside of a café and pastry shop inside the hospital grounds. I've decided to take her to this place after she found me sobbing like a kid in the hallway.

Bella is just staring at me; her eyes beam at me in worry. I know she wants to say a lot of things to me about what happened to us after she confessed her feelings for me a few weeks ago. I could still feel the utmost guilt from all the things I've said to her before. I still feel like I'm an absolute twat for not thinking nor considering what she truly feels till now, acting like a complete naïve prick in front of her while uttering how happy I was that I finally have Ate Mhairi's heart.

I've just realized that we haven't seen each other for a while after the incident. It's been a while since the last time I saw my best friend; crying and begging me to love her back. The way how we gaze on each other tells me that I utterly miss my best friend.

"It's not important, Chris. It's not important how I found you after... after what happened."

Yeah, I remembered. Bella cut all her ties with me after I broke her heart.

She stoops her head down. She then stood her face up and beamed her gaze at me afterwards.

"You. How about you, Chris? How are you? Are you--- A-Are you okay?"

She's now asking me if I'm okay.

I should be the one who asks her that question after what I've done to her.

The guilt escalates while her last words shoot right through the centre of my core. Tears on my eyes start to roll down while stooping my face down. I want to say a word to my best friend. I want to tell her exactly what I feel now that I'm hurting inside from the sudden shift of events that happened recently between Ate Mhairi and me. I want to tell her that I'm fine – that I'm okay.

But it looks like my tears won't let me utter a huge lie just to cover the actual state of my heart.

"W-Why--- Why could she not remember me again, Bella?" I uttered with my cracked voice.

"Chris..."

"W-Why--- Why could she not remember all the moments that we've shared? Those memories we had in Stornoway; our happiest and most effervescent memories we built together with our dreams. Our love... The love we feel for each other, especially the love that she feels for me..."

"Chris, please. Please, stop it." Bella uttered.

"It absolutely pains me, Bella. It really, really hurts me to the point that I just want to give up, that I wanted to give up on this fight that I know I won't and will never, ever win in the first place."

Bella's slender arms suddenly cling and wrap around me; her comforting yet soothing embrace that I miss the most from the very best friend that I love and cherish the most. I couldn't deny the fact that I absolutely miss the way how Bella hugs and comforts me like this every time I feel down; the way how her soothing embrace eases the tensions and pain from the struggles that I've been through in my life.

"Please don't say that." She suddenly muttered. "You've been fighting for her from the start. You've been waiting for her for ten, long years. You love her so much, right? So why, why give up now, Chris? Why give up now that you're finally at the end of this shattering road of waiting for her?"