A Four-Letter-Word Called LOVE (COMPLETE - ENG Translation On-Going)

Act Seventy-Four

Chris:

"Mum, I—"

"I don't want to get in your way but, I'm hurting too while seeing you in bits. I also feel your pain, no matter how hard you tried to keep it away from me."

- - -

My gaze roams outside the window. Chaz' car is currently cruising along M90 on the way to Edinburgh Airport. He offered to take me to the airport when I told him about my plans of flying to Chicago. My Mum was so eager to take and drop me off, but I asked her not to;

Because today is Mhairi and Markus' wedding day – the day that I've decided to leave and move to Chicago.

Mhairi wants her to be there, that's why I insisted that she should be there before the ceremony starts.

- - -

I tried to come up with words to utter. But my words failed me for the second time. I thought I'll be able to hide the pain and grief away from her. I thought I could manage to keep this gut-wrenching pain to myself without her worrying about me. But I failed.

After all, she's my Mother. She's the one who knows what my thoughts and how I feel ever since she had me.

"I know you don't want to do this. I can utterly feel you don't want to leave Mhairi at all. I know you're doing this because you wanted to make everything right, to stop hurting the people around you."

"Mum, please—"

She reached my neck and rewarded me with a loving embrace. I don't know what came into me, but I suddenly broke down in tears. Her hug and the way how delicate she imprisoned me behind her arms finally trigger the emotions I've been bottling inside. I couldn't contain the heavy burden anymore that's why I wept inconsolably in her shoulder.

- - -

A tear suddenly springs free from the corner of my eye. I gradually shed it when it managed to fall in my cheek.

- - -

My sobs are murmuring around the living room. Those sobs that I've been trying to hold ever since that night has finally consumed me. Mum genially stroke her palm against my back to console me.

"Mum, I—I don't want to leave her," I utter in between sobs. "It breaks my heart, seeing her crying and weeping while she waits for me. It shreds my whole being apart to see her so hurt and broken last night. I want to go near her, Mum. I want to—I want to hug her so tight and never let her go."

"But you don't have to do this, Chris." The melancholy in her tone is pretty evident that she's now in tears. "You don't have to sacrifice your love for her. You've sacrificed enough to be this far. You've come a long way to have the love that you've been waiting all your life."

- - -

Mum's words are continuously reverberating inside my head. Her words constantly seep right through the hardest surface of my aching heart. I know I've already made it firm about this decision but heeding her words while seeing her again in tears breaks that wall so hard I couldn't contain my emotions.

- - -

"You still have time to be with her. You could always change your mind about this."