Luna

Chapter 10

There was a slight chill in the air as I went out to the balcony with my mug of steaming coffee. The first sip slightly burnt my tongue the way it did every time I drank hot coffee. The aroma had a soothing effect on me as my mind stayed calm. The wind blew my hair and my eyes scanned the view and it caught the sun that was about to kiss the horizon. This was my favorite time of the day. Whenever I am home I always came out to watch the sun set. It pleased me in a way different from art. I set down the mug in the little table at the corner and grabbed my camera, wanting to capture this moment on film. The sound of shutter clicking was the only thing that could be heard besides the usual honking of cars below.

I absentmindedly turned around while taking pictures, catching the surrounding view as well. In the distance I could see the park I went to on the first day here. The greenery patch lit up amongst the towering buildings. "I should go there again" I murmured to myself. I didn't realize I had turned way too much until I saw a male figure through the lenses. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at me. It was my neighbor out on his balcony. He was sitting in a chair with a laptop. He must have been typing away when he saw me. I immediately put the camera down in reflex before yelling a sorry. Without responding he got up and came towards the railing and placed his hands on it. There was a about a few meters separating the two balconies.

"You like taking pictures?" He questioned with an eyebrow raise.

"Yeah"

"Mind taking a picture of me?"

My mouth hung open at his audacity to ask me that "Now why would I do that?"

He started talking while ticking of his fingers "One, I am good looking. Two, I am good looking and three, I am your neighbor"

Did he just say that? "pfft. You being my neighbor doesn't mean you get privileges."

"Oh is that right?" he said with a head tilt. "You get to cry on my shoulder at midnight but when I ask for a picture you refuse. I bet you can't even take good pictures" with that he was about to turn around when my defensiveness kicked in.

"umm YES I CAN"

"Prove it!" he dared me.

My mouth ran dry as I struggled to get the word out and my head dipped down. It came out as a whisper. "I can't"

"Say that again?" he obviously couldn't hear me.

"I said I can't" I spoke louder as I kept looking at my feet.

I heard him start laughing at my response. "See you can't take pictures. Stop lying."

I looked up and saw him turn around heading for the chair. I didn't have to give him an explanation but I wanted to defend myself. I hesitated before shouting out.

"I can take pictures. I just can't take yours. So stop judging people before you get to know them or their reasons." I grabbed the mug and walked in without giving as a much as a glance back at him.

I paced around thinking before I grabbed the phone and dialed a number. They picked up on the fourth ring. "Hi, Could I reschedule my appointment this thursday? ... Yes, Luna Wayne..... For tomorrow ..... She is available? ...... Yes I can... Okay. Thank you" I felt relief as I hung up the phone. I was despairing to talk with my therapist.

When Mia came home from her shift, she could sense that I was tense. "Hey... what happened?" she asked with concern on her face as she came and sat next to me on the couch, giving me a side hug. "Nothing much" I said as I went back to listening to music with my headphones. [Lyrics translation in brackets]

Oeroumui jeongwone pin 

Neoreul dalmeun kkoch 

Jugo sipeossji 

 Babo gateun gamyeoneul beotgoseo

(Blossomed in this garden of loneliness)

(A flower that resembles you)

(I want to give it to you)

(After I take off this foolish mask)

But I know

Yeongwonhi geureol suneun eopsneun geol 

Sumeoyaman haneun geol 

Chuhan nanikka 

(This can't go on forever)

(I must hide)

(Because I am ugly)

I drowned myself in the song as their beautiful voices filled my ears. Their melodic vocals calmed me down in times like these. I had shown people a strong Luna when in reality I was dying inside. I couldn't show people what I felt because I was scared. They may not understand me. It is really grueling talking about it and reliving the moments that you want to forget.

I woke up the next day and got ready for my appointment. Dressing comfortably, I got out of my room to collide with Mia. "Ouch" Mia said massaging her left arm. "I'm sorry but I gotta go. I have an appointment" I walked towards the kitchen while Mia followed. "Oh is it a job interview? Here eat this" she spoke handing me a sandwich. "No its not" I mumbled biting into it and moaned tasting the marinated chicken balancing well against the greens in the sandwich. Mia looked at me as if saying is it a date. I groaned "It's not a date. It's my shrink". She composed herself with small smile and said okay.

I didn't want to take a taxi so I walked all 15 minutes to my therapist's clinic. I had to wait 5 more minutes before I was called in. Dr. Forbes had a smile on her face which I returned as I sat on the adjacent couch. "Hello Luna....." she covered the basics for the session before hitting me with the inevitable.

"So tell me, why did you reschedule this session?"

I played with my fingers and I could see her observing. She always observed my actions. "I needed to get something's off my chest sooner and you said I should tell you when I wanted to"

She nodded her head and awaited till I lied down on the couch. I always felt it easier to express myself this way.

A/N:- First of all the credits:

Song: The truth Untold by BTS (Album- Love Yourself: Tear)

Please check out the song and the album it's on a lot of platforms like iTunes and Spotify.

Romanization and English translation: kpopviral

I was going to write more but I thought to leave the rest for a new chapter as not to overwhelm readers. I am going to use some stuff I learned in college so we going deep and possibly emo next chapter so stay tuned. 

Read, Vote and Comment.

p.s. I know the chapters are short now so I will try to write more in the upcoming ones. I said I would update twice a week but I am currently writing at my own pace and when I am feeling it so updates may become late at times hence there is no schedule for it.