Hidden secret

Writers notes

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Well the first thing I have got to say is thank you all so much for reading this story! I hope you have enjoyed reading it and can fathom the inner story. I know Belle is a walking crisis but that's just how I wanted her to be. In many ways I can relate to Belle, in a lot of ways I can't. I am no means friends with celebrities, dating a cute boy, abused or a saviour sibling. I used Belle to express the pain I have felt.

Belle shows how hard it is when people say things like oh she's on her way out of the dark so say things like "it's fine for you. You have come out now" or " your out now anyway". I wish people could understand how hard I have had to fight to get out of this. I found fighting harder than living with it. I wish I had someone who understood me when I was like it but I was alone. That's why I stressed the importance of friendship in this story.

Millie, Esme and Lauren are kind of code names for 3 great friends and I have deliberately made them kind and nice but unable to fathom my situation. Every morning for the last four years I have applied a false smile to make myself seem happy. They have been so supportive all thought they will never fathom my pain or isolation.

Ethan signifies a dream. I hold on in the hope that something good will happen eventually. I know I am single and will be for a long time yet but Belle held on and I am sure I can do the same. Ethan is as confused as everyone about her behaviour but learns her little ways and eventually he will be able to understand why she is the way she is but for now he is blinded by what she hides.

Tom. Tom. Tom. My little fan girling obsession. I just wanted to write a story that shows Tom and Jade together. They are the most perfect couple I have known. I wanted a story were they could be together and I tried to show there depth of relationship through him kissing Belle yet Jade forgives as they have so much trust in each other.

Rupert was the symbol of isolation but a happy isolation. Almost saying "he who stands alone isn't always lonely" which I wish more people understood. He never had a girlfriend as I wanted to show that life alone isn't such a problem as he's still so happy. He is the one who kind of holds on to everyone. He is like the outlook on everything.

Liam, Jake and Joey are 3 boys who shaped who I am today. One was with me when I made my first cut. He stuck by me hid the fact never told anyone kept it in his heart. They treated me like a sister. They made me laugh and always helped me for advice when I knew I couldn't turn to Lauren,Millie and Esme. I am closer to these 3 guys than anyone.

Hayden is the sort of person I hate. They blame others for the way I made myself. When really they will never understand that what happened to me or why. Although you hate them you follow them like a sheep because your to scared to explain. They do however protect and care but can never fathom you out.

Zoe and Leah express my obsession with trying to change who I am. The idea that you can change your appearance and change yourself in the process. I showed them as liking her because they think there's potential not because they like what they see. Although Zoe at the end says her feelings and comes clean about how sorry she is. That's when you realise how little Millie and Esme understand Belle.

Dee is the role model you can't escape from. She lead Belle around because she was weak and fragile but she made her grow stronger but in the process Belle broke herself. When Dee dies metaphorically Belle loses her friend but it also signifies her past dying and her moving on which Is where she really struggles.

Finally, Buttons. My dog walked into my life when I was at my darkest I remember I stroked her head and I cried because she was about to walk into the mess of my life and I knew I would love her and tangle her up like a tangled everyone up in my problem. I remember the woman asked me if I was ready to put her back in her pen but when I let her go it felt like she was avoiding me like so many others but she came back to me.

I have loved writing this story and I am not ruling out writing out a sequel to this but after my next project. I have loved writing this story and everything fits in to place. Belle has so many problems but these all add up to one huge problem she can't contend with.

- "one day I want to look back smiling but no one can fathom why I am like this whatever they try to say no one will ever understand my battles even those who are closest to me"-

Thank you all again. Please comment :D

Becca xxx