not over you // m.espinosa & s.wilk, ft l.butler

(16) Goodbye for Now

important announcement

so for the rest of the week I won't be able to really write because I'm going to be out of town at a place where the internet isn't very good. So the next update might be in two weeks but I will try to write as much as I can when I do find internet. Plus, I'm having a bit of writers block so this update was late. I'm truly sorry, hope you guys understand.

song of the chapter: chasing cars by snow patrol

Matthew POV

Three weeks. Three weeks and I haven't seen her. Three weeks ever since I screwed up a perfectly good friendship. Three weeks and I miss her more than anything.

I want to see her, wait scratch that. I need to see her. The days have gone by so slowly, killing me softly. For three weeks, there was no way I could hold her close at night. Compliment her on how beautiful she looks everyday. All because I had to mess up. Yea, I was angry that she has been avoiding me. There could've been a different way I approached the situation but i didn't. The anger had been building up inside me and I just released it.

Oh god, and those times we almost kissed. I understand at Disney because Brock wanted a hug. But back at the hotel, when the room service interrupted us. I wonder f anything would've changed if I just went for the kiss. We would probably be dating by now and she wouldn't be in Idaho, riding dirt bikes and motorcycles with Logan in the mountains. Yes, I have been checking her twitter and Instagram daily. I could text her too but she probably wouldn't even reply.

I hate myself right now. Usually I don't put myself down. The fact that I let this anger get to me and practically be rude to her in front of everybody, makes me hate myself.

Everybody's out having fun, while I'm here at Tina's house, trying not to go into Beverly's room. Tina specifically said her room was off limits. Two days ago we got back from the cabin and everybody is staying at Tina's place. It isn't small, but it isn't big either. They do have too much guest rooms though. I just wanted to go to Beverly's room so I could just reminisce the times we were actually together.

I knew if I did, I would end up sadder than I need to be. This whole time I felt just like a party pooper to the whole group. Summer ends in a few days and we all might be going our separate ways.

As I lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling, the door swings open. Well they're back. I needed more time to think. Even though I have been spending the last three weeks thinking. I just don't feel like myself. I don't even know what I truly feel for Beverly. Like her? No. Love her? Maybe. When I first laid my eyes on her, I wanted to be with her. She was absolutely stunning, my jaw might've dropped a little.

"Hey Matt." they spoke walking into the living room. They scattered themselves all over the room, sitting on the floor, love seat and couch.

"Hey." I replied sitting up from my position. They all looked exhausted.

"What are we gonna do now?" Carter thought out loud. Carter was my best friend. He had been supporting as much as he could these past weeks.

"Lets just watch movies." Mahogany suggested. I was down for that. Even though I haven't really been myself lately, it wasn't gonna stop me from participating in activities that aren't in public.

"Frozen!" Thalia called out. I quietly chuckled to myself as she decided to watch the most innocent movie. Don't get me wrong, I love frozen. The only thing that annoys me about it is the fact that there are always frozen references.

"Why not something scary?" Carter said, ignoring her suggestion. She huffed in the chair, rolling her eyes at him. Hey, I have an idea.

"Why don't we watch a scary movie first, then frozen?" I proposed. I mean, I can't be the only one who doesn't think that's not such a bad idea.