Unexpected Love [Completed]

Chapter 1: He Came

Recap: James and Meera broke up. He might possibly have a new girlfriend. He is coming to visit her today.

I woke up, anxious. I had barely slept last night. This aching feeling in my chest refused to disappear. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to take a breathe, this aching feeling in my chest refused to disappear. I'd taken him for granted. When I had him, I didn't show him just how much I loved him. 

I wanted to break down, but I continued. I wouldn't be weak.

That day passed normally. At lunch, I texted James to ask if he was coming.

M- u coming?

J- where?

M- to visit 

J-visit where?

M- last week you texted me n said how u were coming to visit.

I looked up at Vanessa because Sarah and the others who now had lunch with me had gone to the high school cafeteria. 

Also, I don't know if this was in the last book but they use many of the nearby college facilities. 

We were in the college cafeteria as usual. She was like, "Bro, so he's not coming?"

"No, I don't think so."

I was sad. earlier I had said I didn't want to see him but now, in the moment it's like desperation is clawing into my heart. I want to see him. Maybe, maybe Sarah interpreted it wrong. I don't know what I expected if I saw him again.

J- where u sitting?

M- wym?

J_ u have lunch no?

M- ya. college as usual

J- normal seat?

M- yea y?

J- idk call?

M- sure ig

J- r u inside bc last time it was mad noisy

M- bc everyone was here. they aren't now

J- oh well I'm coming

My heart in that moment. I'm not even sure how to describe it. He was my everything. Why lie? I wanted him back. I wanted him here with me. But some things just aren't possible. I can't have what Vanessa and Marcos have. I am meant to have a broken love I guess.

I was always cursed like this. Somehow, every time I got somewhere in a relationship, it always went downhill. 

When I looked up from my phone and saw James walking towards me...my heart stopped moving. I couldn't breathe. I screamed, and stood up. I didn't even care that my phone probably broke. He was here. In front of me.

He was fucking here.

I didn't care. I walked up to him and just said, "You came?"

"Yea."

I hugged him but not the way I wanted to. God, I wanted that "I'll out all your pieces back together" hug. I wanted him to hold me and never let go. I wanted to cry into his arms and declare how much I still wanted him. I wanted him to pull me to him and kiss me senseless. I wanted to smile at him and for him to smile back. I wanted those wordless conversations. Those inside jokes. I wanted my James back. But I let go.

And I knew I had to. He didn't like me like that anymore. I had to let go. Relationships aren't one sided. 

He and I sat together, talking. It felt like he had never left. It felt like before. Why did God take him away from me? Why did I have to let go so soon? Why did this hurt so much? why couldn't I breathe? Why did I ignore everything just so I could talk to him? Why couldn't he still like me?

Why didnt I talk to him so long ago? Maybe he would've stayed. 

We talked and when I took him back to school with me every guy within a ten yard range attacked him. Everyone was like "IS that James?"

I got pushed into a wall. I lost him in that crowd. He was gone again. Just like last year.

Shivam and Nate tried to talk to me. I tried to explain how I felt. How I wanted to cry but out of happiness or sorrow I didn't know. I felt this ache in my chest that I didn't know how to get rid of. I wanted to hide and cry and pray for a different life, a life where we could've been together. But that could never happen. James is everything opposite my beliefs. To be with him, I'd have to give up all of my traditions, all of my family. 

Me and him could never happen. It's not technically against my religion, and he'd let me believe what I wanted to and he'd never stop me, but how can I ever look my father in the eye? How could I when I was doing something he'd always been against?

I wanted to break down. But how could I? I deserved this. I deserved to be alone again. After all my unfaithful thoughts, James needed to break up with me. 

I wanted to be happy for him. I wanted to feel relieved that he could be free to like any girl he wanted. A girl he could like who put him first. 

I wasn't that girl.