Unexpected Love [Completed]

Chapter 21: Ache

The next day was worse. At first he tried to talk to me, but when he saw I just wasn't trying he left me alone. I just didn't feel like interacting with him.

Seeing him with her...it wasn't fair.

He kissed me! And then just says he likes her instead. Deal is off. One fucking day. There was no point in our deal.

What was the point of me being involved if he was going to end up with her anyways? Where's the reason, God? Why? Why involve me? Why let me get hurt if they were going to end up together?

She likes him back! They're going to end up together.

And my friend, Arianne whose close to Damon told her that he knew I liked him. So he knows. Fucking great.

I don't understand why this whole thing had to happen. I just can't see it. All I feel is this ache, this hurt, this desperate hope that he likes me. But he doesn't. So why won't my heart listen!?

Why why why won't my heart hear that he likes Lana. Damon likes Lana. He doesn't like me. At all. He chose her. I was nothing. It was fun until he found someone worthy of his feelings. His best friend.

I have this feeling that when we kissed and after that, he wished that it was her he'd been with rather than me. He thought if he kissed me it'd take his mind off of her. but it didn't. Or he needed to get me out of his system.

Well, it doesn't matter because he chose her.

For some reason I keep saying the words, but it won't register with me. I keep repeating it to myself. But I keep thinking there's more. There has to be.

But I know why this hurts so much. I've finally realized.

I got kissed and left. It was the same scenario with him. Chris. The older guy that kissed me? And broke my heart?

That Chris.

He kissed me behind a staircase. Just like Damon.

He acted like he cared. and then hurt me right after.

I didn't want this to be that. I don't want another Chris. Damon was supposed to be different! It was supposed to be fun and refreshing and just easygoing.

Getting over Chris was easy because there was a lot wrong. He was too much older, he was secretive, he hurt me. But I never had to see him after what happened.

I have to see Damon for the next two years. Every day for the rest of this year at least.

And to see him with Lana...to have to walk up and down the same staircase where we kissed.

Good for him that he figured out his feelings. If he'd done it sooner, it would've been better. But it's ok. I'll get over this. He's happy, I'm happy.

Well, I will.

God, I let this happen again!

History repeated itself.

I swore I wouldn't let another Chris into my life. I wouldn't let it happen again. I thought I was smarter than this, better than this. I thought I was getting better. My heart had finally rebuilt itself. Sure there were still cracks. But I was getting stronger again, happier again.

But a knife went right through and shattered it all over again.

And the worst part is I feel so lost. I don't know how to get over this. I don't know how to get back up again. And I have to act like everything is ok. I can't let my friends see this. Then they'd figure out the connection to Chris. Plus, none of them approved of me liking Damon in the first place. I'd get an "I told you so" and pity.

I hate pity. I'm so tired of it.

Why can't I be the first choice for once? What's so wrong with me that no one likes me?

But there's more. Oh yes there's more. I show up to school Monday and I hear the whispers. They're together. The two best friends that everyone shipped from the beginning were finally together. And I was happy for them with all my heart. But for myself, I knew I needed to take a deep breath and keep going.

I guess he really did like her.

Nandini and I escaped away from everyone. And I needed it. Because only she knew that I still cared. Only she knew the trueness to the whole situation.

I told her that I'd let them be happy. I couldn't hurt Lana. I wouldn't fight for someone she had a claim on. They were meant to be. I just happened to be a twist, a temptation that Damon needed to overcome. It's ok. I'll move on.

The worst thing is I have to act fine. I don't want him to know how I feel. I want him to be happy. I want us to be friends. Just like James and I.

Over the weekend, I talked to James again. And I forgot just how much he meant to me as a friend. It was a relief we were back to our old friendship. And it felt right. We were meant to be friends, just friends. It was a breath of fresh air. I almost forgot the reason I started liking James in the first place. He was one of my best friends. And I hope he always will be. He has a girlfriend now, a girl nearly two years older than him. Good for him to make a move for once.

Damon and Lana were happy too. I saw them walking and talking together in school. Good for them.

I'll find that some day. When the time is right.

I just hope that someone will take my broken love.