Unexpected Love [Completed]

Chapter 2: Suffering

The next few weeks hurt. Everything brought back memories of James and me. People were starting to find out we weren't together, and most of my friends seemed not to understand. But how could they? 

James and I had a very strange relationship. We didn't go on dates. Most of our time together was spent online. We bonded over messages. We didn't have in-depth in person talks. We could barely hug each other without blushing like fools. And I should've known fro those moments that what we had wasn't going to last. I had forced it because he was leaving. 

If he'd stayed I would've probably waited until sophomore year to tell him I liked him.

If he couldn't get over his shyness for me, he didn't like me as much as I thought. I realized these things now. After I had spent almost a month crying over him. Our moments were great, but I'd find someone again. 

I mean sure I missed telling him everything. 

I missed knowing everything about him. I missed telling our friends not to offer him food because of his diet. I miss being the one to explain his absence to some of our teachers. I'd be the one he'd share secret looks with. Me, him and Will. We were invincible together. Will and I would talk about my issues with James and Will would automatically solve them. 

Will would know my problems before I even told him. He'd come up with a solution within minutes. He knew me almost better than I knew myself. 

I missed the familiarity. The closeness. The three of us would laugh at inside jokes all the time. We had codenames for everything. I mean sure it was sometimes annoying that James and Will told each other most of everything. But I understood where they were coming from. 

They respected me. They needed me. 

James and Will used to whisper things to each other in front people. You'd think they were quiet. But when they began talking in front of me, without whispering. When they would explain their middle school stories to me, I felt a part of something. 

I wasn't alone. 

I knew I could always depend on them. 

Will would ask me if I'd been crying when I hadn't told anyone. He'd known why the moment he looked into my eyes. 

We had a connection. Sure, it wasn't the connection James and I shared but it was a connection.

James and I felt for each other in a way I thought was special. But it wasn't permanent. 

When I started sophomore year, I lost Will too. Sure, I saw him, sure I could text him, but that connection was wavering. 

We didn't have classes where we could talk about things. We didn't have lunch together. We couldn't sit in a corner and confess our deepest secrets. 

Sure we always greeted each other in the halls, sure everyone thought he was my best friend, but I knew almost nothing anymore. I missed him. I missed my old friendships. 

Sure I'd made new friends. But I missed my old friends. I missed Sarah and MIna. There were things I could tell Mina that I couldn't tell Sarah, but I rarely saw Mina anymore too. I became close to Vanessa again. We were back to being the pair we'd been in middle school. I'd forgotten how well she knew me, and how well I knew her. 

And I had Nate, and Clara, and Shivam but you can't replace people.

You can't replace someone who'd taken up so much of your heart in a short time.

But suddenly, I found out someone had weaseled their way into my heart. They had been a little secret tucked away until a breeze blew it out of its corner and into the center of my heart. But my heart was in pieces. It was lost. How was I supposed to give broken love to someone?