Unexpected Love [Completed]

Chapter 27: Understanding

I don't know why I keep doubting. I don't know why I'm so scared. I don't know why he means so much to me. And I keep hoping he likes me back. But there is no true way of knowing. Not unless he tells me and proves it, which won't be happening anytime soon.

I was so worried. Today Omar kept talking to me so I didn't get the chance to talk to Avi. And when I wanted to say hi to him, Omar wouldn't let me. I thought Avi was mad or he didn't want to talk to me. What if he thought I liked Omar? What if he thought I only talked to him because I wanted to get to Omar? What if he didn't like me but knew I liked him and he knew Omar liked me so he decided to get me to like Omar so he wouldn't have to reject me?

Ok maybe I'm losing my mind.

That night at mandir, he didn't talk to me, didn't say hi. I asked Shona if I should text him. I was going to wait it out. We hadn't texted in two days. I wanted to see if for once, he'd text me first. I wanted to test him, but Shona said to forget testing him.

So I listened to her. And I ended up texting Avi for hours.

M- what's w the dub

A- gotta dub every once in a while

M- not nice

A- did u not see the little kids too cute

M- lmao tru but I'm cute too

A- no ur not stop lying to yourself

M- I'm not

A- only Nandini thinks ur cute

M- y u gotta bring her up for

A- lmao she's ur bff

M- no my bff is a Chinese girl named Vanessa

A- I've heard u talking about her

A- dont lie I see u w Nandini all the time. in the halls on track etc

M- ok firstly ur dumb. secondly ur always playing basketball how would u know

M- n ofc u know Vanessa shona talks about her all the time. my fam act like she's my only friend

A- one friend seems about right

M- I have plenty friends u have one kazi

A- no I have alot. kazi mad funny tho

M- nah he weird. always either talking to me or avoiding me

A- ur always w Nandini that's y

M- she be following me

A- lmao y'all r always acting weird in the halls

M- her not me. the two of them r too complicated for me

M- but she did help me out today

A- what did she finally admit ur ugly

M- ur ugly not me. she found my hat. I hate losing things so when she found it I was so happy

A- that hat is mad ugly. I thought u were some Punjabi girl.

A- n I don't need ur approval. I know I'm handsome

M- did u just insult my hat. n I am Punjabi

M- look in the mirror ur not handsome

A- thats not what Nandini said

M- u tryna cuff Nandini I see

A- pass the message imma steal Omar's girl

M- I'm doneeee.

A- u can't compare to Nandini sorry to say

M- firstly I'm above her secondly ur dumb

A- firstly we're dating secondly ur dumb

M- ur infuriating

A- its 12 I need sleep

M- ok gn

I wanted to laugh so hard but I couldn't because I'd wake up my parents. This boy was so dumb. I loved it. Here I was worrying he didn't want to talk to me. But why is he always mentioning Nandini? Every single conversation we have involves her. And how does he know Vanessa? Did Shona and I ever mention her to him? I can't remember for the life of me. Shona couldn't recall it either.

That means he pays attention. He saw us on track. He saw us in the halls. He listened when Shona exposes my life to him at mandir. He remembers it all. Like I do. When you like someone you remember every detail right?

If someone had told me two years ago or even a few months ago that I'd be here right now, sitting in my own room in a house without my aunts texting Avi I'd laugh in their face. He'd always been the ugly one. but memories from last year about him kept coming back.

I remember nudging a friend, Ann to play basketball with him so we'd be near each other. I wanted to see if he'd talk to me. And there were times when he walked track and I walked near him to see if he'd turn to say hi. I never knew why. I never understood this desire to talk to him. And these specific moments happened while I was dating James too. It's so strange. Because I never even regarded them as the sort of things you do when you like someone.

I used to hate on Avi all the time. I remember telling Will and James about him. I remember explaining it to Sarah and Mina and Vanessa. If someone told me I'd end up feeling so strongly for Avi when I liked Raj, I would've smacked them. I would've taken one look at Raj and said "bye Avi."

But the more time I spend truly learning about Avi the more I realize how handsome he really is. At first glance, it's not there. You see this tall skinny brown boy. But when you look again, you see the smile, the honesty, the kindness. You see the strength. He definitely glowed up since last year. He changed how he dressed (most of the time), he changed his hairstyle. but he didn't change his heart. He was still the same boy I'd been slowly falling for.

I'd once said I was in the middle before I knew it had begun about James. But I knew exactly when I'd started crushing on him. I knew deep down I just liked him because he was nice to me, because he was cute, because he protected me from the haters at school.

But Avi.

He was different from the rest. I know I'm probably contradicting myself. but this is the raw truth.

He never bores me when he talks, the way James used to. He understands my values without me having to say a word.

And I just feel for him. I don't know how to describe this.

There are moments when you feel so lost. When you need to find a new direction because the one you've been going in hasn't been leading you anywhere. You don't know how to backtrack and you don't want to keep going in fear that you will only become more lost. And suddenly you stumble upon a worn path. You see people and civilization in the distance. And when you arrive, you feel this deep-rooted, all-consuming sense that you are home. This is where you need to be.

This entire search suddenly makes sense. You were lost for a reason. And the reason was to end up here. Suddenly everything makes sense. I feel that now. With him.

Every moment of hurt, every feeling of why suddenly makes sense. I was supposed to get hurt. I was supposed to like James. I needed to become who I am now to be the person that fit the other half of him. All of those moments when I wanted to talk to him but couldn't were meant to happen. Because it was all about timing.

For two years I'd been resisting. For two years we'd struggled to say hi, or not say hi.

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel." — Johnny Depp