Unexpected Love [Completed]

Chapter 23: Crash and Burn

Avi and I would see each other in the hallways, and we had small conversations. We were finally making progress. Real true progress. Then one day, Nandini told me to ask him if he knew who Omar liked.

You see, Nandini liked Omar, but he didn't want to talk to her. He only spoke to me now, but every time I brought up Nandini he shut me down.

So I asked Avi. I called him out as he walked out of class and he said, "Hey what's up?"

"How close are you to Omar?" if he said not close I was going to smack him because the two were inseparable during gym.

He responded, "Well, relatively close I'd say."

"So if ..if he liked someone he'd tell you?"

"Yeah probably."

"Do you know who he likes?"

He looked at me, and glanced behind me at my friends who had been standing nearby. His face became angry? He turned and walked away. I'd never felt so humiliated in my life.

My face burned red, and I was mad. He didn't even say he couldn't tell me. He simply turned and walked away. Why was he mad though? Did he think ...

When I'd asked him to buy cookies, he'd tried to find out how me and Omar were friends. Oh my god. I'm a fool. He thinks I like Omar.

Wait wait wait.

Why would he be mad I like Omar unless... unless he likes me too!

Yes yes yes!

My boy likes me!

Or so I hope.

I kept texting Shona about it. And she thinks he does. She's seen him staring at me in mandir. She's seen our interactions. She knows how deeply I feel for him. There's something there. We just need time.

There's this happiness in my heart. I feel the way I do when I pray sincerely. When I meditate on God. Those moments of peace. I feel that more nowadays. I don't know why I am this way. I know Avi has a part in this.

My heart has begun to thud around him. I blush in ten seconds. Hearing his voice alone makes me stop to listen. I see him and our eyes connect.

I never expected this to happen. I never expected to like him like this.

And that's why when Omar told me Avi didn't like me, it hurt so badly.

We had passed each other in the halls. And I'd asked him about Avi. Omar said, "You know he doesn't like you right?"

"What? How do you know?"

"He told me you asked about who I liked. He thought you liked me. But I told him you probably liked him. He said he knew and didn't like you back."

"Oh"

I turned and walked away. There were no words to describe it. He was supposed to be different. He was supposed to be the one who was right. We were supposed to like each other. My instincts were supposed to be right today. What happened?

I thought we had a connection. God, how was I supposed to face him at mandir? How was I supposed to look him in the eye? How was I supposed to act like he hadn't broken my heart? I had to look at him and smile and laugh. Tears filled my vision.

Oh god, and Vanessa had said she'd seen Chris around the campus recently. Why had I told him where I went to school? If she had really seen him, and I bumped into him I wouldn't survive. I know he was going back to school so if he went to the college associated with my school...I had thought I'd have Avi and our connection to use as emotional support, I could've pretended I had a boyfriend if I had to talk to Chris, but now?

Avi was supposed to be different. And the worst part had nothing to do with Chris.

It had to do with the fact that I had no reason to hate him. There was nothing Avi had done that I could hate him for. He hadn't been mean to me, or fake. He simply didn't like me. For me. I wasn't enough for him. I wasn't enough. I had been wrong this whole time. God, I was so stupid.

Someone help me. I had to leave class and just break down. If I didn't have Nate... I don't know what I would've done. You know, my best friends, Vanessa and Sarah and Arianne didn't know. They didn't really care. Nandini and Nate were who I had left. They tried to cheer me up.

I walked out of trig and just walked around. I didn't have my earbuds so I couldn't blast music. I just kept repeating my conversation with Omar in my head. All of the moments with Avi just disappeared. I saw the moment he turned and walked away and realized that was it. That was the epitome of what we had. He had walked away.

There was no us. It was just me. Alone. Again.

I even went down to the staircase. Damon had kissed me there and I didn't even care. I'd hugged James there millions of times. But it didn't matter. This boy, I'd have to see him so often. James was gone and I could avoid Damon more or less. They didn't mean anything to me in the long run. I was free from them at home and at mandir, the most important places. But Avi...He was there. He was a part of my life.

How was I supposed to face him?

Him...us...I just didn't have it in me. I went to the main bathroom but all my friends were there. I wiped away my tears and smiled at them. "Hey Vanessa, Arianne, Sarah..."

I walked out and away. They didn't follow me. The three people...the three fucking people I was supposed to depend on. But it didn't matter. It was another one of my boy dramas. I've liked so many guys but they weren't Avi.

They didn't make me smile at the slight of their mention. They didn't sing with me at mandir. They didn't dance with my dad. They didn't laugh at one of my dad's jokes. They didn't even know my dad. They didn't understand how important dharma was. They didn't understand who I was in truth. They could try but none of them did.

Prem had tried. But he hurt me. We had never spoken face to face about anything. He never made the effort to talk to me. Avi had. He had used my umbrella falling as an excuse to talk to me. Avi had been the one to yell at me to not throw it back up into the air. Prem had told me to stay away from guys in general. He laughed at my problems. He found them amusing. Raj never attempted to talk to me.

Avi had made the effort to say hi to me. We wouldn't have said hi if it hadn't been for the day his coins fell and one rolled my way. He could've picked it up and walked away. But he used it as an opportunity to say hi. And from that day we spoke. We became friends. He could've picked a cookie himself but he asked me which one I wanted.

When someone praised him, I felt proud. I was immediately defensive if someone said shit about him. He was smart, and considerate and kind and there was this feeling in me that just wouldn't go away because of him.

What was it? What was this?

And the feeling that everything was wrong because he didn't like me back.

This feeling that my life was going the wrong way. Nandini found me in the hall and she hugged me. I cried and just whispered over and over again, "He was supposed to be different."