I don't want what you have done with me to be done with anyone else. And it hurts to know that some of things have already happened or possibly happened.
I have this tendency to forget what people look like after a while but I cannot seem to forget your face. I can't forget her face. But it's more about you. I don't wanna see any other faces. Unless its ours merged together within a small being that we could call our own. but you don't want that. So that sucks. Goodnight
I'm afraid of hurting I'm afraid to be vulnerable only to lose the one I'm able to be fully vulnerable with. Like I said before I went to bed. I don't want what I have to be given away to someone else. Mental physical soul wise I don't care it's all supposed to be mine. And maybe you don't know that and I may see to come off so selfish like but that's not at all what I'm trying to be. I've given you me and I've never once given anyone else the things I've given you while we've been together and it just sucks that you don't see the damage here. You kissed someone else and I don't know what was going through your head or if you actually enjoyed it and decided it was best to lie to protect my feelings. Because I'd rather be told the truth than to be told a lie just so that I don't get hurt in the moment.
I cried through my super authentic practice speech speaking in an empty house and pouring all of my emotions out but that's not important. I just feel like when it comes down to it I will cry in front of you but I've done it before what makes this different. This is the life or death of sed. I don't care about the never lose theory because it came from Catalina and I know that's kinda stupid but I don't wanna think about that and we're in a good space and it just brings m back to hurt. I'm sorry if my feelings don't compute to you but the way this situation makes me feel isn't gonna change I can forgive but I cannot forget and only time will heal me. So if you cannot respect it I'll just have to go.
I recorded the 3rd practice speech I feel like by the time I get to you I'll have at the most 10 of them😂 I've been pretty well lately I guess. Today was a day obviously
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary...
Romancethis i my diary with some names changed and or left out completely. judgment free zone. I just need sage and I'd be great. feel free to ask questions or leave kind words in the comments and vote if you can relate or want me to continue.
