I have a million emotions yet no way to express them. I just wanna sleep for a thousand years because I hate feeling alone when I have someone to love me. I don't even know if that's the truth. I just wanna be happy. I'm not crying at least not yet but shit I wanna be so super duper fucking happy. Why can't I be. I've been through torture for a whole 9 and then some months of my life why can't I just have 5 seconds of happiness. Please tell me that.
Fuck you, this is all your fault. You too Cat. And All the other stupid humans on this fucked up shit of a planet. I'd love to go to one of the better alternate universes in my life where everything just goes my way.
I doubt that happiness is real. I'll never be able to have what I want my life is so fucked up I'm over it I want it to end. I need it to stop at least just for a second. I hate what you have done to me. I hate this world for making me love you and never wanna give up on you. I hate that my soul is yours to have my everything is yours and I have nothing. I just wanna stop breathing. I need to gasp for air only for a moment.
Swallow a bunch of pills and leave you to love whoever you want. give attention to the weak. And let me be happy with my momma. I miss her. I wish she was here to hurt you like you hurt me but physically.
No one in this house knows that you've hurt me like a puta because I'm protecting you. I just wanna watch halloween movies with you somewhere that isn't here and then while you sleep slit your throat. I hate to love you and how I love to hate you. But I cannot hate the one I love. Or can I. Release me.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary...
Romancethis i my diary with some names changed and or left out completely. judgment free zone. I just need sage and I'd be great. feel free to ask questions or leave kind words in the comments and vote if you can relate or want me to continue.