Valorous (Book Three)

Chapter: 13

DAY: 129

Lark

I spent a few days alone with myself, sometimes I'd get up and pace a little before I'd get too tired to do any more walking. My strength was regaining but the pain from the burns was lessening slowly. To keep myself occupied and my mind from wandering to stressful things, I kept walking and focusing on building up my reflexes again. 

I stood from the cot and walked over to the door, stopping a minute when I felt a little off balance. I felt a cool breeze beckoning me from the doorway, not too strong and yet not too weak. Using the wall to guide me, I took easy steps out towards the balcony, breathing in the fresh air for the first time in ages.

"Lark, what are you doing up?" I stopped and turned around. Steve was standing there, just a few feet away from me. I hadn't heard him walk up behind me.

"I don't need your help, if that's what you were wondering."

"Not really, just looking to see if you wanted some company. You looked awful lonely."

I stuffed my hands in my jacket pocket when there was no more wall to use, keeping close to the railing as I slowly walked past him. "I'm alright on my own."

"I know you are, but are you alright right now?" He asked, keeping easy pace with me as I hobbled. I stopped walking for a moment when I realized what was going on. He seemed a bit nervous and more persistent than usual that he accompany me.

"You know something don't you?" I said, stepping around him towards the ramp, the movement stretched a stiff muscle in my back and made me freeze to let it adjust. Steve kept up behind me.

"I don't understand." he said. "What am I supposed to know?"

"Natasha told you something, didn't she?" I kept walking, the ramp led up to the next level and the next before Steve said anything. That's when we hit the surface and the wind hit me like a wave of water. It felt so cool and clean. I stopped and stood there, leaning against the edge of the ramp and breathing in what I would call freedom. This view had the river, had water and a glorious pink sunset to silhouette the skyline of tall buildings in the distance.

"What is it that Natasha would have told me?" Steve stood next to me, leaning against the ledge. I looked him, not saying a word for a moment. Then, as the silence grew on us, Steve dropped his head and stared down at the stone.

"You're a terrible liar."

"I know." he answered quickly after. "I just thought that if you assumed I didn't know then maybe we could avoid a conversation like this."

"Avoid it? Eventually there wouldn't be a point where we couldn't avoid it. It's just better to get it out now and say it." I told him. I looked back out at the water and leaned my elbows on the edge.

"So is it true then?" Steve asked after he rested his hands on the stone, looking out. "What Natasha told me about. . . you and. . . I mean-"

"It's true. What she told you is true." I nodded and turned around, gently hopping up to sit on the edge of the concrete railing.

"You do realize how dangerous it is, right?" he asked me. "It's dangerous, Lark."

I opened my mouth to say something, like I could protest and prove him wrong but the words failed when I needed them most. The last thing I needed was Captain America berating me about choices. "How long until..." he asked me. Steve turned his back to the wall and leaned against his, folding his arms over his chest.

I looked down towards my stomach, "In a month, maybe less." I answered him. No doubt that rumors had begun to spread through the garage, people could be thinking and talking about it behind my back, making up stories or whispering lies. I could feel the goosebumps on my arms starting, the hair rising on the back of my neck as a chill ran up and down my spine.

"Does Bucky know about this?" Steve asked. I looked up, he was looking at me.

"No, he doesn't. Not yet." I told him, shaking my head and wiping beneath my eyes. I hopped down from the wall and folded my arms across my chest, taking a deep breath. "I don't know how to tell him."

Steve turned and placed both of his hands on either sides of my waist, looking straight up at me. The movement made me nervous. "I know that with everything that's happened things have gotten a lot tougher to handle. I know that you and Bucky are practically avoiding each other right now. But if there is anything that you need, anything at all, no matter what time it is or where, you just ask me. Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded to him, feeling my eyes give way to light tears. Steve lifted his hands up and wiped them away from under my eyes, gently and kindly.

"Need a hug?" he asked with a slightly smile on his face.

I nodded and took another breath, "Yes."

Steve wrapped his arms around me, I wrapped mine over his shoulders.

"Thank you." I told him.

"You're welcome." he said back to me. Over his shoulder I saw Banner and Natasha standing at a distance, watching the two of us. I could see a smile on both of their faces, both of them looked happy, or at least what I would call relieved. But, in the distance behind them, beside a column in the dark, Bucky stood watching. I couldn't see his face, but I could make out from his stance that he wasn't happy, that he was still angry in some way. I knew that the sight of seeing me like this would somehow break his heart.

Sooner or later I'd have to tell him, and I'd have to deal with his reaction and that's what terrified me the most.