Valorous (Book Three)

Chapter: 19

DAY: 168

Lark

"Don't worry about it." I heard Bucky say to Steve from the other room.

"No, we need to call Banner and get him down here." Logan said. "Either that or go to him."

"Come on, it wasn't that bad of a meltdown." Bucky said.

"She locked herself in the bathroom for an hour before you got back. She was screaming and shouting at you last night. We all heard it. We need to help her." Steve said.

"She wasn't screaming." Bucky was trying to defend me. He didn't have to but he did it anyway. I was embarrassed by the whole situation and I wasn't exactly comfortable showing myself.

There was this dark looming cloud over my head. It raged at night in the darkness and rumbled in the background of the day. It was always there. I hated it. My mind was warped and running rampant trying to pull myself back together at the same time I was falling apart. The thoughts I had...were not kind, not healthy either. If anyone knew about what I was thinking, or what I thought of doing...I'd get locked up for sure.

I wrapped my arms around myself tight, pulling the sleeves of Bucky's hoodie into tight balls in my hands. In doing so, I felt a sharp jab into my belly. I pulled my arms back and dug into the pocket, finding the keys to the motorcycle. 

There was this moment, when I looked at those keys, where I knew my plan was idiotic and dangerous. It was such a stupid idea and I knew it from the start, but the idea of it was exhilarating, made my heart race and leap for the first time in a while. My lungs felt like they were expanding to draw in each excited breath and it was liberating.

I needed to go for a ride.

I snuck out into the hallway, from where I stood I could see Logan standing in front of the TV and he looked pissed off. It was either go through the living room or out through the bathroom window, which was directly over the garage. I just had to get out and I knew exactly where I was going.

My legs swung over the side of the bed, jumping up and grabbing my jacket from the dresser. I stuffed the keys into a pocket and opened the bedroom door.

"What's that going to do, Steve? We can't just fly her all the way out there, we're trying to keep a low profile, we'll just draw more attention." Bucky's voice sounded more annoyed than before, and far more bored in tone than what I believe was intended. 

They had to be in the living room, and if I wanted to make it outside I'd have to go out through the kitchen to the garage or the front door.

Or, there was climbing out the window. My legs already ached at the idea and my arms were growing stiff in protest. The window would be my only way out unless I wanted to face Bucky, Steve and Logan for a pity party.

I quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, crossed the small space and opened the window, looking out. It would be easy to get out the window and down the little roof above the garage down to the pavement. The drop down wasn't that big and I'd been keeping up with my stretching and light aerobics to stay fit.

I took a deep breath and stepped up on the toilet seat, then climbed through the open window onto the roof. I turned back and shut it softly behind, hoping that no one could hear I'd made it out here. Last thing I needed was more attention. When I turned back around and looked over the edge I nearly wanted to smack myself. There was a trellis, covered in sad green climbing ivy, that would save me from having to jump and risk spraining an ankle. With another deep breath I turned and lowers a leg over, finding a crook to set my foot into and then lowered the other. I started climbing down, going slow and staying as quiet as I could.