Valorous (Book Three)

Chapter: 17

DAY: 167

Lark

We managed to get towards the outer edge of the city, luckily without being caught by anyone. We had no trouble finding a place, it was an abandoned car dealership on the edge of a small town. Many of the cars and trucks were still there. The dealership was surrounded by a lot of trees and it was an easy in and an easy out if we had to escape. But from the dealership we moved on to an abandoned house in a subdivision. But we kept ourselves moving, kept changing directions and stayed in the dark. We never stayed in one place for long.

I had made it into a little over four months of the pregnancy. There was no movement, it was too early for that. I didn't like it when people touched me, or tried to touch me. Anywhere. I'd just shrink away. My moods were easy to change suddenly, and my cravings for food had yet to make any appearance. There was a horribly concerning aspect of it all that I hadn't put into play at the beginning. I was terribly depressed about everything.

I kept to myself mostly, keeping away from any plans that Steve, Logan or Bucky made. I don't exactly know why Logan came with us, maybe to keep an eye on me or just to get away from the stress. I can imagine why, living with Remy was probably hell on earth.

On a weird day, Logan once told me that I was special, that I was just different and some people didn't accept it. Hydra targeted special people, which is what I explained to him, and he shot back at it with a comment on how I at least got the chance to escape and make it out here in the real world. I hated to argue with him, but more often than not he seemed to look for any opportunity to start some sort of drama.

Bucky and Steve had left about an hour ago to see if they could go scavenge some supplies from a strip mall nearby. Logan stayed behind to keep an eye on me. Not that I needed someone to look after me twenty four seven.

I stood by the front window, looking out through the faded curtains at the street. There wasn't a real point in watching or waiting, they'd come back soon enough anyway. I shouldn't have been worrying as much as I was, it probably worried everyone else.

"Why don't you just sit down or relax for a while?" Logan had been trying to convince me to chill out for a while, for almost an hour. But I'd given him no sign of giving in and sitting in the corner.

"No, I'm fine." I told him for the eighty third time. Logan hopped off the table and walked over to me, leaning against the edge of the window frame, right across from where I was standing.

"What's got you rattled?" he asked. "You've just been acting a little weird lately."

"It's nothing, I'm fine." I told him again. I've never been fine. Not since my Aether symptoms started showing up again. Things were just feeling wrong all around me, I didn't feel comfortable anywhere or with anyone. The grey was smudging over my arms, over my entire body and I was terrified to look in the mirror at myself. Without that antidote my body just wouldn't stop shaking or feeling weak and used.

"Lark?" I flinched and snapped out of it. Logan was standing close, his hand was on my arm.

"I'm ok." I said. I felt my body shaking slightly, but enough that Logan was able to notice it. 

"You're not okay, sit down." He tried to move me over but I flinched and backed away. "Lark, take it easy."

"Just..." I started, wanting to say a million things at once. "I'll be back." I took off towards the stairs to the bathroom. I huddled in the bathtub after locking the door behind me.

There weren't any ways to just control the shaking, I just had to let it pass on it's own. I've tried to fight it, to do something about it. I took deep breaths, closing my eyes and listening to the silence of the room around me. But I couldn't stop shaking. I felt like I'd almost never stop.