Misted Thoughts

Sounds

Its night like these that I'm reminded of how empty I am
How empty I feel without you around

How this void blooms through memories
Of ages, ages ago.
How there's not a life to live
But a duty to fulfil, a daily task to complete

A dull tune in the nails at the end of fingertips
Lips sealed, because shush.
Don't talk.
You always make it much worse.
So much more worse.

I can already sense the long night in front of me
They come either crashing in through my tears
Or tendencies to stay sane.

Its night like these that I'm strong enough not to break
But the tears don't hit my face
So I bury my back onto the velvet
And stare up at the ceiling
Filling it with your face, your different emotions
Your different little everythings
I know this isn't who you are
I wish facades could be bought and sold
You've tried to hide behind these masks
And the colors behind them were only mine to see
So now when those colors don't show anymore
And my smile sparkles a little less
I will give birth to them on ceilings
And the four walls of my suffocation
I will watch them dance and come to life
I will pretend youre mine and mine to keep
I will breathe new life into me
Even if it takes a few more regrets to feel
A few more, every single day.

My phone lights up less in the hours of 11 to 4
So the stars have my attention now

And standing under the same sky as you
Listening to the same time tock
Feeling the same blood under my veins
Tells me I'm okay
I'm okay till I want to fight
I'm okay till I want to stay
I'm okay till I'm happy in every endeavour you make
And every sound you create
That I have the honor of listening to
It gives me new colors to paint
On white ceilings with tainted dreams

Its a patchwork of mess and magic
That drives me crazy every single time
There's more than a hundred to count
But less than a lifetime to see
Less than a lifetime to wait and watch and fight and breathe
Less than a lifetime to regret
But it'll try my best to pass the message
Across those aloof clouds in the
Sparkly stary sky, love.
I miss you.

But it's too late now
:'(