Misted Thoughts

Don't Let Her Cry

Being 6 days away, we had some catching up to do
In the corners of buses where over the years
Both our hearts have found solace in the other's words
Both our heads have found each other's shoulders
And our laughter has lessend in the level of maturity
But somehow, we still seem to strike a chord after 12 years.

Almost never has the conversation so easily slipped onto you though.
It was always accompanied by me bursting into tears
Trying to keep it together infront of juniors
While he told me to let it all out.

I never could. I never could let everything all out.
I don't think I ever can. There's just so much to let out.
And such little significance left. So little time. So many memories
And I'm not willing to scratch at those open wounds
Again
Again
Again.

He asks me how my week went.
There was an examination to give
Places to go.
People to talk to. To comfort. To tell, they're the best I know.
Close friends to bring closer, others to call from afar.
Long talks and slight teasing. That's how my week went.

He says you're smart. One of the smartest he knows and I don't deny.
You're one of a kind.
And remember how I told you
"You make heads turn when you enter the room"
Sometimes you even make bodies stand up on their own two feet
And ring their hands in applause, endless.
Its a sight to watch.
And I hope the effect resonated within your chest to tell you
You're worth so much more.

"How did you imagine your first date to be?", he asks suddenly.
The answer rolls off my tongue as easily
As if it were being asked to me 8 months ago.
A time when all I could think about was this.
An answer, I'd spent 8 months trying to push to the back of my mind
Failing miserably
Yet the thought of it has never made me smile wider.

I imagined it to be in The Park
Both of us, sitting somewhere
Holding hands and smiling at each other
Just at the surrealism
Of being alone in peace, finally
With just the other's hand to hold
And the other's breath as sound
We'd talk till it was time to leave
Or maybe walk the block and get something to eat.
You'd show me around those favorite spots.
And I'd laugh, remembering all the times you might have been there
When I was on call from the other side of the city.
How I might get to finally see your house.
Meet Shankar bhaiya ;)
And travel to the top of the infamous terrace
I'd hold you before screaming your name
And you'd laugh, holding me tighter.

How you'd never want me to go back home.
How I would tell you,
I'm already there
And I don't want to go away.

I'm smiling by the end of it
I don't realise when the tears start to fall
And he hugs me and says he's sorry
Blaming his stupid curiosity

He says I've moved on
And I nod.
"How do you know?", I whisper
"You're smiling"