Misted Thoughts

I'm Sorry

To Mom.
Thankyou for staying up late for me when I had extra homework. Thankyou for taking my faults into your lap, giving me a slap but cuddling with me later and telling me "Hey, it's okay, you'll survive Math". Thankyou for telling me I don't need love to survive the world, it's only a mere constituent of it. Thankyou for taking my side in every fight I've had with the world and my own little one. I promise to always do the same for you. Thank you for waking me everyday, the days you don't are terrible. Thankyou for getting after my life for the smallest of things, you've taught me to be a perfectionist and never to settle for less. Thankyou for telling me to not cross boundaries but aim higher than my limits. Thankyou for the warmest of hugs in the morning and teaching me to cook better food than you. Thank you for telling me to be caring and compassionate but strong and opinionated at the same time. Thankyou for telling me when to use the former and the latter at just the right places. Thankyou for enduring every single day with a smile on your face. I don't like it when you cry. Thankyou for staying, even when you want to fly, just for my sake. It means a lot Mom. And i love you.

To Zara
Thankyou for being my first best friend, second mother, second sister, second boyfriend and my everything. You mean the world to me. Thank you for all those calls that have helped me stabilise my life into something better. Thankyou for telling me when I deserve more. And also for brining me back to the ground. Thank you for forgiving me, even when I don't deserve it. Thankyou for you, even though I don't deserve it. I don't think I could survive if you ever were to leave me. Thank you for leading me by example every step of the way. Thankyou for showing me I can be loved and love people all the same. Thank you for crying when I was in pain and laughing when I was happy. Thankyou for supporting me thorough thick and thin and holding me close even from far away. You deserve the world and so much more. You're beautiful and most importantly you're mine. You're a much bigger person than your height defines. Mwah.

To Cookie
Thankyou to you the most, I guess. You taught me how to be me. But you also taught me i could change. You showed me all the black in me but loved all the yellow. Thankyou for staying with me through thick and thin and I wish I could have done the same for you. I do love you. And I'm so proud of whoever you are today, even if you don't show the real you because I know it's somewhere deep down inside. Thankyou for telling me I'm beautiful and cherishing me each day of your life. I wanted to tell you that you're just as amazing and that you mean the world to me all those days of my life too, and I hope the message was put across in the most sweet way possible. Thank you for staying up late for me. Thank you for teaching me English, I think I got half my grade just by that one session. Thankyou for singing songs for me at 4 am, it still rings in my ears sometimes. Thank you for showing me I can be vulnerable but also be strong at the same time. Thankyou for telling me I can do so much more than I put in. Thank for for being the fuel to my fire and pillow to my head. Thank for you showing me different sides of me that I never thought existed. Thank you for making me feel accepted in your fam. They are a bunch of the most beautiful people. Thank you for showing me real and pure love, craving obsession and die hard care. Thank you for knowing what I need without me having to say it. Thank you for understanding when things were wrong just by a text and making me all okay again. Thankyou for all the late night convos and all the ice creams, oreos, chocolates, cards and gifts. I owe you my life. It's impossible to find a man like you. And so thank you for choosing to be mine for that small amount of time. Thank you for understanding me better than I did myself. Thank you for forgiving me for a hundred million things. Thank you for teaching me how to move on and stay forward and never look back. Thankyou for finding peace - with me and what happened with us. I hope to meet you in another day, another life. And i wish you all the best for life and beyond, even though you don't need it. The stars are all aligned in your favour and I hope they remain so.

To Mollzie
Thankyou for being the elder sister out of both of us. Thank you for all the advice, all the gossip, all the sleepovers, all the pyjamas I've borrowed, all the movies, all the food, all the hugs and the best of kisses. Thank you for helping me experience the best sides of me in the four corners of your room and the blue tiling of the swimming pool. Thank you for teaching me the A of Anjana Anjani, B of Badminton and C of Chess. Thankyou for dancing with me till late nights and solving all my worst fights. Thank you for bitching with me and always always having my back. Thankyou for keeping a track of all the boys I've crushed on and my only serious relationship in life. Thankyou your having to deal with it too. Thank you for telling me heartbreak isn't the end of the world it really isn't. Thank you for throwing one more roti on my plate in the quest of both of us striving to be fit. Thank you for Scamper, I love that dog man. Thankyou for letting me spend more time on your laptop than I will in mine. Thankyou for letting me creep out all your FRIENDS-they're amazing. Thankyou for the best nights and the "Rhea no don't wake me up" mornings or lemme say afternoons. Thankyou for introducing me to Uday, he's a pain in the arse but I still think Ms. X is you. Thank you for making me realise how less I studied, cuz you girl are gonna top the boards.
I love you so much Chica, you rock. Every day.

To Chris
Thank for being an idiot of the first order for life and beyond. I love every side of you. Thank for telling me loving is only half the problem, handling the relationship is more important. Thank for being the first person to not scream at me when I fell in love. Thank  for telling me to fight for it. Thank  for keeping beside me in every bus ride and every phase of life. Thank for hitting my head against the window at random times because I'm never gonna let you forget it. Thank for being the fun person in my life. Thank for telling me to chill all the time. Thank  for knowing what I feel without me having to say it, it's like you can read my face however creepy that sounds. Thank  for all the new trends in the English language for example: thank, Gmd, sml, THANX and teewhy. Thank for having a flower in your overly dry fallow land if you know what I mean. Im glad. For you and for flower. Thank for all the food and water. You're basically helping me survive the ride back man. Thank for being my chauffeur, my mother trusts nobody else. Thank for helping me be part of the Gang. They are a GUD 1. Thank for giving me important life lessons on double pages on that one specific day of the year. Thank for telling me to be pointless sometimes and embracing my inner weird. I know you love my Pj's. BBB FLAB. Kamla loves Chakne. Thank.

To Jade
Thankyou for all the HEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOs at exactly 8 am in the morning at school. It's a real wake up call woman. Thankyou for being the strongest person ever. Thank you for never treating yourself any less or any different than us. You're not and you never will be. Thankyou for being the brightest sunflower even when you don't wanna be. Thank you for scaring the shit outta me with false period alarms, trips to the stinking washrooms are ever delightful. Thank you for freaking me out when you're actually hit by it, the medical room is now both of our playing ground. Thank you for telling me my problems are not lesser than yours and the magnitude doesn't matter. I know I taught you that but thank you for reminding me time and time again. Thankyou for telling me it's okay to not be fine but you will do the best to make it fine. Thank you for your fierce desire to kill the world, it's inspiring. Thankyou for all the sleepovers at your place and the best of food on every single one  of those days. Thankyou for bowling, laser tag, hot chocolate at CCD and being a chaar baje ki chidiya with me but never waking up the next day. Thankyou for all the chick flicks during those late nights and all the crush confessions I've had with you. Thank you for measuring The Love Meter with me and several other weird ass guys. I would always be up for that. I just wanna tell you. You're amazing. You're beautiful. Just don't give up, on yourself and on me. It's a big world, maybe, but you're a pretty tall person and you can definitely make it through. I love you to the end of Venus and back. Mwah.

I don't know why but I really wanted to do this. And it just felt super liberating. Yeah. Thanks guys. It's cuz of you I am what I am today.
:)