Bring Me Home // Phan

20

Dan's POV

The truth was, I wasn't okay.

I had run out of space on my arms and thighs, and my stomach was now littered with cuts.

I deserved it.

I'd begun to eat again.

I was weak.

Even though I was throwing it all back up after.

I was weak.

I was sure I'd gotten fatter.

I needed to exercise.

But I couldn't.

I just wanted to lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling.

I was so tired.

Phil made sure I took my tablets every evening.

He was so amazing.

He was being so nice to me.

But I didn't deserve it.

I was lying to him.

What kind of a friend was I?

The shit kind that lies to their best friend's face.

I looked at Phil through the stupid tears that had begun to fall from my face.

I couldn't even think about eating without my mind throwing insults back at me.

It was painful.

I'd been trying so hard the past month, but I just couldn't today.

But Phil...

He cared so much.

He was so understanding.

I couldn't lie to him anymore.

But I couldn't tell him either.

So I shook my head.

I'm not okay.