Phil's POV
My world was crashing down around me.
The sirens loud in my ears from the ambulance.
The fuzzy speech of the medics.
I walked in slow motion whilst people whizzed around me.
All I could do was stand and hold back the tears that stung my eyes.
The fears that made my heart thump.
The sadness that made my lip tremble as I spoke.
"Mr Lester are you okay? Do you need someone to speak to about this?" A Nurse was speaking to me, "Many people find it difficult to cope when a loved one tries to take their life."
"I'm fine."
They couldn't understand.
No one could ever understand the pain I was going through.
They didn't know how it felt.
To find the only person that mattered.
Dying.
He couldn't die.
The nurse smiled at me, reassuringly patting my hands before leaving me in the reception alone.
Finally, I was able to fish the piece of paper out from my pocket that I had found in Dan's room.
I unfolded it carefully, hands shaking, and read it.
Phil
if you're reading this
im sorry
for everything ive done
i cant do it anymore
i cant keep going like this
i just want it to be over
every time i wake up i am disappointed to still be in this fucking world
but i havent slept in days
right now, not even sleep wants me here
so i'll leave
im sorry you had to see it
im sorry you have to live with the memories
of me
im a messed up, fucked up person
i didnt deserve you
please - dont save me
i dont want to be saved
goodbye Phil
x dan
A single tear escaped down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve.
Never let them see you cry.
YOU ARE READING
Bring Me Home // Phan
FanficDan is secretly suffering from depression. On the outside he seems bubbly and happy, but on the inside he wishes for it to all be over. When his friend, Phil, unexpectedly invites him to stay at his apartment, Dan struggles to keep up the glass that...
