Never got over you (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Part 10

"So, you have someone living with you, now?" Dr. Bradley asked.

Bucky nodded his head in reply.

"And, how is that working for you?"

"S'ok, I mean, she is pretty quiet-" Bucky shrugged.

"So the person staying with you is a woman?" Dr. Bradley asked.

Bucky sighed as he ran his hands over his face, but nodded. "She's a friend of a friend, we knew each other in high school. Her apartment building burned down, so she's just staying with me for a bit." He looked up at the older man, taking in the glasses on his nose and the wrinkles on his face as he wrote on the pad of paper in his lap.

"How are the nightmares?" He asked, looking up.

"Still bad," Bucky admitted.

"Have you taken any of your sleep aid prescription?"

Bucky shook his head.

"And your anti anxiety prescription?"

"No." He hated taking those pills, they made him feel hollow and empty, a lot like he had when he had been strapped down and repeating his name and serial number as they "interrogated" him.

"Have you been talking to your friend," he quickly referenced the papers, "Steve, about them?"

"He was sent to another base, so, not as much."

Bucky hated this part of therapy. Why did he have to rely on other people to get things done? Why couldn't the man in front of him just give him "assignments" that he could do alone?

"How close are you with this friend that is staying at your house?"

"Not very," Bucky quickly told him, hoping to cut off any forced interaction the doctor might try to assign. "We knew each other way back, but hadn't seen each other in five years or so. And didn't part on the best terms."

The doctor nodded his head, writing more notes. "James, I know I've told you this before, but I think you should come to the group therapy sessions. They're run by a very nice man who has been in the military, too, and everyone there is there for the same reason you are. You're not alone, James. There are people who want to help you."

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, disinterested. He really didn't want to go to group therapy.

Why could people not tell that he just wanted to be left alone? He wanted to get better, he didn't enjoy nightmares waking him up almost every night, or the sporadic panic attacks, and least of all the flashbacks that put him right back there and made him question if he'd ever really come home, and sometimes forget things, big things, like his name, but he didn't want to have to be surrounded by and have to depend on other people to make that happen.

No one else was going to be able to fix him, only he could fix himself. He just needed a way to do it.

Dr. Bradley sighed and pulled off his glasses, rubbing his eyes with his other hand. "Your assignment for the week is to get out into the community more; leave your house and be around other people, go shopping, to the library, the gym, out to eat, anywhere, anything, just do it around other humans."

... ... ...

Bucky walked through the huge, open room.

He'd left (Y/n) at the library while he went to therapy, telling her he had some personal errands to run, and she had been fine with staying there, joking about how she would have nothing to do, what with all of the books and free WiFi at her disposal.