Never got over you (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Part 18

(Y/n) woke, surrounded by Bucky's arms, as usual, and opened her eyes to see a different room; his room.

The night before came flooding back to her; being worried about sex if it came up on her date with Lance, Bucky seeming angry at the thought of Lance forcing her to have sex with him, then picking her up and plowing her on the kitchen table.

No, plowing wasn't the right word- maybe at first, but by the end it was more like making love...

(Y/n) tried to shake the thought. She wasn't really sure what had happened to make him want her that way; they'd been barely talking about sex, not enough to get anyone riled up- though he was a returned soldier with PTSD; who knew when the last time he'd been with a woman was?

She felt pain fill her heart; she loved him- No, she didn't love him, she had really deep feelings for him, but surely not love. It wasn't completely apparent whether she was reassuring, or convincing herself, but either way, he didn't feel the same.

There was no way he could.

He was an amazing, handsome man, who was still way above her on the social ladder, PTSD or not, and probably would still play that stupid prank on her that he'd tried to in high school.

Pain stabbed at her heart and she pressed her eyes closed.

What if this was like that? What if it was just a more advanced version of that? What if...

What if he was so sweet last night so that she would think he liked her, then he laughed at her when he woke up?

She bit her lips as she fought the thought, and the tears trying to grow in her eyes.

Damn him...

(Y/n) started pulling away, but Bucky tightened his arms around her. "Where're ya goin'?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Th-the bathroom," she told him, hoping he would let her go.

"M'kay... hurry back, though," he told her, letting her go.

(Y/n) quickly crawled from the bed and grabbed her shirt, pulling it on and buttoning what she could of it, since the bottom few buttons were gone, and hurried out of the room, leaning back on the closed door.

She needed to act as though this didn't affect her, as though she hadn't just had the best sexual experience of her life, past and probably future included.

She quickly grabbed some clothes from her room and went to the bathroom to take a shower, hating that she had to wash the wonderful feeling of him off of her, but knowing that she couldn't make it through the act she was going to have to put on if she could still feel the way his fingers had moved over her skin.

Bucky rolled over, his arm searching for (Y/n), but he couldn't find her.

He opened his eyes and looked around, thinking that he had heard the door close, but it became obvious that it had been the bathroom door when he heard the shower start.

Bucky smiled as he stretched, thinking that it would be nice to go join (Y/n) in there, maybe have a morning after round against the wet shower wall...

His smile only grew at the thought, but another thought occurred to him, and he climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants before heading down to the kitchen.

(Y/n) stepped out of the shower and dried off before getting dressed and brushing and doing her hair quickly, then heading downstairs, remembering that all of her clothes from the day before minus her shirt were down there, and stepped into the kitchen to see Bucky standing at the stove in only a pair of sweatpants that were hanging a little low on his waist, making her body heat up at the memory of the body underneath them pressed against her.