Poems About Life

my demon

I sit alone again,                                

I sit and watch the world pass me by                                                          

I sit watching the rain                     

 watching the world in slow motion.

My regular companions are a pen, paper, and a screen.                 

 I thought it would be different      

I thought we could learn to stop using our words like gasoline                                                     

throwing our words around trying to put out fires, and only making them worse.

I hear the people around me and I can't help wanting to scream at them                                          "Why can't you hurry? Is nothing important to you? Do you think you have all the time in the world to waste?"                                                                                                                                                                But I hold my tongue and then my feelings go numb.                                                                                          I can't change them, I wouldn't even know where to try to start.

Do they think I'm blind?                                                                                                                                                  Do they think I'm deaf?                                                                                                                                                        Do I even cross their minds when they leave me behind?                                                                                  My thoughts are running in circles,  my state of mind is like a tangled ball of yarn.

I'm losing myself and the demon sitting on my heart is feeding on my sadness                                        I almost forgot how to smile, I forgot how to ask questions, I forgot what it's like to not be afraid    I was broken, bruised and beaten down and I've grown callous                                                                      I don't know what it feels like to be curious anymore.

My eyes burn and all I want to do is sleep                                                                                                                  But I can't because I still have things to do, I still have people counting on me                                        The Burden I'm carrying feels so heavy, the hill I have to climb is so steep                                                 I feel all  alone, I'm blind to my support because my eyes are blurred with tears.

My bones are splintered, my blood is running dry, and I feel so worn out                                                    I'm broken and my pieces are scattered, my lungs are filled with smoke from the wreckage              Is my future secured or is it falling apart? either way, I'm dealing with the fallout.                                     The sky is dark and I can't see the moon or the stars, they fell from the heavens to cry in the dust.

Who can see me? Who can save me? I can't save myself, I can barely see myself.                                    Only the dark knows me because it lays over my shoulders like a cloak all day and all night            The people standing on the sidelines, can they see themselves?                                                                     Can they teach me to battle my demons? Can they give me a sword to pry the weight off my heart?

Or will they stand by and watch my demon drag me to the depths?