A Life Unknown

A Few Days Later

Jamie had been left to wander around the institute and familiarize herself with it. After days of being followed around, she had snapped and asked to be left alone. To her surprise, they agreed, but she knew it was only because no one was ever more than just the next room over.

After some time, Jamie decided that she quite liked the library. It was nice and quiet, perfect for getting away from the world. She loved that it was so easy to hide, and she had a lot of entertainment while she hid. Her favorite place was the loft by the window where she could look out at New York. She found it memorizing to be able to see the people passing by, yet they had no idea the church they saw hid this amazing secret.

Jamie thought about how she wanted nothing more than to go outside, even for just a minute. She wanted to see the world that had been hidden from her for her entire life... However long that had been. She was becoming comfortable with the idea of not knowing simple facts, like how old she was.

Jamie had managed to hide in the library all afternoon, until Julian came in and started grabbing books off the shelves. She peeked over the edge of the loft, hoping Julian wouldn't see her, but she had failed her mission. Without warning, Julian turned his head and she knew he had seen her.

"Oh, I didn't know anyone was in here. Well, since your here, do you want to come help me with the investigation?" He asked.

Jamie didn't respond. Instead, she moved back against the window. She hoped Julian would forget that she was up there.

"Jamie?" He called. She gave and peeked over the edge again. "Come down and help."

"I can't." She said.

"Why not?"

"Jace doesn't want me near the investigation."

"Is Jace here to stop us?" She had to admit, he had a point. Jamie made her way down the ladder and walked over to Julian. He was at one of the many tables and had multiple books spread out in a semi-circle.

"Where is Jace?" Jamie asked once she'd fully reached the table.

Julian walked around the table and pulled a chair around. He gestured for Jamie to sit in it. "He and Clary went out to look into some of the reports. Most of them come from the same area, so they think that's where most of the rogue downworlders are hiding."

"Why are these downworlders trying to destroy us?" Julian pulled another chair around the table and sat next to Jamie.

He thought for a moment, trying to phrase his words just right. He found it hard to think straight. "Until recently, downworlders and shadowhunters didn't have a great relationship. Truthfully, we don't even now. Downworlders were considered to be 'bad people' because they had demonic blood. Shadowhunters, now, have accepted downworlders into our world and see them as allies. Unfortunately, some downworlders still see shadowhunters as enemies and believe that we shouldn't exist."

Jamie sat for a moment. She, too, found it hard to think straight. "But you guys protect everyone from the demons and the real 'bad people.' Right?"

"We do our best."

"But.. Magnus saws I'm a warlock. That makes me a downworlder because I have demon blood." Jamie was full of confusion. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No. No." Julian lost his breath. "You're not a bad person. You were put into a bad situation in which you had no control. You are not a bad person, Jamie. Don't ever think about yourself like that."

"But I'm demonic because of my demon blood."

"Your demon blood doesn't make you demonic. It's what you do with it that make you what you are. You get to choose if you want to use it to destroy or use it to build. It's completely your choice."

They sat in silence for a long moment. Jamie held her head down while she thought. Julian took this time to study Jamie's features. He found himself thinking about how he might draw her long eyelashes. He thought about how he might capture her hair. Would he pick only one color to depict her mood at a certain moment, or would he accept the challenge of trying to show who she really was by depicting her ever changing hair?

"Julian?" Jamie asked to get his attention.

"Yes?"

"I don't want to be a bad person. I know I can't choose who my parents are, but I know I can choose what life I live."

Julian let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding in. "That makes me so happy." He said.

"How do I be good?" She asked.

"Why don't we start by helping Jace and Clary figure out what kind of demons we're dealing with?" Jamie nodded. "The report says that it's either a Shax or a Ravener. Based on these discriptions, what can we tell about the gatherings?"

"They both say that they are summoned and controlled by warlocks. So... a warlock is responsible for the demons?"

"Yes, and it could be multipule warlocks. I wouldn't be surprised if it were considering the number of demons that are being reported."

"These demons hunt down a missing person and capture them. Who are they going after?" Jamie questioned the motives of the demons.

Julian went silent. He honestly hadn't thought about it, but it know occurred to him that they might be coming after Jamie. "I... I don't know." Julian admitted. "Thanks for your help, Jamie. That's really all I needed."

"That's all?"

"Yeah." Julian relaxed into his reading. He rounded his shoulders and allowed his long, dark hair to fall into his face before he combed his fingers through it and put it back in place. Jamie took note of how he allowed himself to relax when he thought no one was looking. She wandered around the institute, looking for another place to hide so she didn't bother Julian anymore, but she found it hard to get that image of him out of her mind.