*** THIS IS THE SEQUEL TO "ALL TOO WELL" ***
"You destroyed her," he shouted before he covered his face with both of his hands.
I nodded slowly while closing my eyes for a brief moment. "That's right. I did. I destroyed her and guess what? That des...
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Life was very complicated to understand but so easy to live. Life was nothing but a collection of moments. Moments you would cherish forever. Moments you would think about in the future. Moments you would keep in your heart —or perhaps try to keep in your heart— forever. And sometimes, life was a collection of moments you would want to forget about but simply couldn't because those moments were haunting you; they were part of you.
My life wasn't filled with great moments or cherishable memories, in fact, it was filled with countless mistakes. And somehow, those mistakes didn't want to let go of me. I wondered how different my life could have been if I prevented those mistakes every single day. Life could have definitely been better, brighter and joyful instead of being pure hell for me now. I was twenty-two years old but still stuck in my seventeenth year of life. Why? Becuase I was seventeen years old when it happened. I was seventeen years old when the devil reached his hand out for me and I gladly took it. Up to this day, I still hate myself for it, and I probably always will.
"How come you decided to visit us?" My mother was staring at me for the past ten minutes without saying a single word until now. She wasn't showing any emotion and I was really overwhelmed by this situation. I had to admit that it was odd to be back here—back home I mean. These four walls never seemed like home to me and they still didn't make me feel as if I was actually home at all. It was December and I decided to take a few weeks off college to visit my parents and see how they were doing but most importantly: I came here to apologize and ask them for forgiveness.
"I just wanted to...stop by and see if everything was alright." I couldn't look into her eyes. This situation was very awkward for me. The last time I saw my parents was nearly three years ago. My father and I were arguing once again and we couldn't stop shouting at each other until he told me to leave and I gladly took all my belonging and shut the door behind me once and for all. My mother was crying that night because she couldn't bear our fights anymore. She was sick of me. I knew that I wasn't easy to deal with and like every other hurt person, I had my demons too. And sometimes, they got the best of me but I learned to tame them, learned to get rid of them, even learned to make peace with them.
We were sitting in silence for the hundreth time today before she opened her mouth so say something, but no word escaped from her parted lips. I kept playing with my thumbs as I stared at the pictures hanging on the walls and a small smile curved my lips when I spotted a picture of my father and I because they didn't get rid of it. I was about six years old when my father took me to my first NFL game in Philadelphia and up to this day, I still remember how happy I actually was. His best friend Gerald took this picture of us. While my father was holding me on his shoulders, I was smiling with my whole heart and even at this distance, I could see that my two front tooth were missing. I was wearing an oversized Philadelphia Eagles shirt and suddenly wondered whether my dad still kept it somewhere.
