Time Will Tell | ✔

Chapter 20 - Andrew's Confession

time will tell

—

I shot my head up to look at him in utter surprise. "What?" I wondered, "No, no, no. I am sorry, Andrew. I am the head of all of this mess. It's weird isn't it? As much as we try to run away from our past, it keeps chasing us. No matter how fast we run, this city holds all the memories we try to burry so hopelessly and each time we return, it confronts us with our mistakes. I've done so much wrong in my life. I've hurt so many people... my parents, my friends, you... her..." I whispered, biting onto my inner cheeks.

He scoffed, shaking his head. "You're not the only one with a long list of mistakes, Miles. Look at me. I'm part of this mess just like you are. I've moved away from this city, from the people and from all the bad things that surrounded me here, but you're right. How long can we keep running? Because I'm out of breath, Miles. I'm exhausted. You were haunting me. I felt so bad for all the shit I put you through. I betrayed you. I was a coward and couldn't admit it to you or to Rose. If there's anyone who needs to aplogize...it's me."

"Let's admit that we both did bad things to each other. We both betrayed each other. We both hurt innocent people. Back then I thought I had every right to act the way I did, but I was just a complete idiot for thinking that way. Now that I'm older, I feel ashamed by myself. You have no idea how painful all of this is. I... I can't sleep at night, don't want to eat, don't want to take care of myself... I just want to disappear once and for all. The remorse is killing me, Andrew." I sobbed, hiding my face behind my shaky hands.

I felt him pat my shoulder lightly. "Whether you believe it or not, I understand and feel you. I suffered a lot because of everything that happened, trust me I did, but I've learned to move on."

"Can you... can you just tell me why? Why did you betray me? Why didn't you tell me about this thing between Jo and yourself? We were like brothers, Andrew. Why did you hide that from me? I was extremely disappointed because I would've done anything for you. You were the last person I'd ever expect to do such a cruel thing to me, so tell me why?" I asked. These questions were bugging me for over three years and I definitely needed answers. "I'm begging you to tell me the truth."

He let out a loud and long breath before he nodded, "I'll tell you the whole truth. I just wish you would have heard me out back then... at the party when I told—no begged—you to listen to me, Miles. Maybe things would have turned out differently then, but let's leave the past where it belongs, shall we?"

I rubbed my neck slowly, "I know and I feel truly sorry for all the pain I caused you... from the bottom of my heart."

"It's alright, mate. I don't want to say that you had the right to act that way, but you had a reason to be angry at me and since I've known you since we were toddlers, I should have known that once you found out, you'd kill me." A sad smile curved his lips. I looked away because I honestly didn't know how to apologize properly for my actions. I hurt him quite a lot and felt beyond sorry for it, but couldn't find the right words to tell him. The images of his broken nose, all the blood and his unconscious body were floading right in front of my eyes. I looked down at my knuckles and closed my eyes for a brief moment.

"Please just tell me," I begged with fear lacing on my voice. I had a very bad feeling about what he was going to tell me, so I prepared myself for the worst.

After a few seconds of silence, he began to talk. "Josephine and I never really had deep conversations. We only greeted each other whenever we stumbled upon each other on the streets or the grocery store or somewhere else. The only thing we ever had in common was the fact that she was living in my neighborhood and that she was dating one of my best friends... you. I didn't know much about her. I mean you told me a few things every once in a while, but other than that, she was a stranger to me." He paused briefly. "One night... after I came home from a football game, she was sitting on the steps to her porch. She was sobbing. I could hear her cries even from afar. Looking at it now, I wish I would have ignored it, but I sadly didn't, because my mom didn't raise me like that and I felt bad for her. I thought something happened between the two of you, so I walked up to her and sat down onto the spot right next to her. She didn't notice my presence at first, so I asked her about the reason behind her tears, why she was crying and whether everything was alright. For a split second she stopped crying and removed her hands from her face to look at me. She seemed very surprised when our eyes connected, but I could somehow tell that she was sort of... happy? to see me. She looked into my eyes so deeply and asked, "Do you really care? Do you really care why I'm crying or perhaps how I'm doing?" and although I was sort of confused, I nodded because well, I mean I did care. I wanted to know whether I could maybe help her out in any way. And then she dropped the bomb. Out of a sudden, she told me everything, Miles. She literally told me everything about you and about your relationship. She told me that she felt like someone who was only living to... please you? Like some sort of robot. I could see and tell how truly sad she was. Her tears didn't stop running down her cheeks the whole time we were talking."