Time Will Tell | ✔

Chapter 26 - The Good In Goodbye

time will tell

"Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough
But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts..."

- Death By A Thousand Cuts, Taylor Swift

—

When I was woken up in the morning by a stranger who was strolling through Central Park, I was sad and confused because a certain someone was missing by my side. I remembered falling asleep after resting my head on Rose's lap, but apparently she left once I drifted into sleep. My head was hurting and although she put her small jacket on top of my upper body to prevent me from freezing completely, I felt cold.

I remained at my spot and kept rubbing my eyes while thinking about my previous conversation with her.  Why did she come back last night? And why did she leave again this morning? I was hopeful. I really thought that she had changed her mind. I thought that she would give me one last chance to prove that I was indeed the guy she fell in love with a long time ago. I knew that she was scared to trust me again, but this time I wouldn't take her for granted. I would treat her the best way I could.

Maybe you two are just not meant to be, my subconscious reminded. She's happy. Leave her alone and find your own kind of happiness. I was just so confused. What was I supposed to do? Damn, these questions were bothering me ever since I could remember and I was sick of all of this. Sometimes good things have to fall apart, so better things can fall together, I kept telling myself.

I regretted a lot of things in my life. But letting go of Rose was something that I could never forgive myself. Instead of fighting for her or trying to explain myself when her wounds were still fresh and bleeding, I waited for them to heal until I could re-open them and hurt her even more than I probably did back then. What I was doing was unfair. I knew that I didn't have the right to jump back into her life like that, but she was the one who approached me.

She approached you because you reached out to her by writing a letter. She felt bad for you. She pitied you. Even though she's happily in love with someone else, she cares about you so deeply. She always has and she probably always will. That's how she's built. No matter how badly you hurt her, she could never hurt you back, my subconscious remarked again and I sighed. Having conversations with myself was quite exhausting. I kept overthinking everything and that was eating me from the inside.

I grabbed my phone and turned it back on. Once I unlocked it, thousands of notifications about missed phone calls and new messages popped up straight away. There were only two people who would care enough or worry about me to reach out for me, and one of them was someone I had to have a word with. I was aware of the fact that Andrew arranged this meeting with Rose. Coincidences like this don't just happen — especially after a concert — and so I grabbed Rose's black denim jacket and made my way over to Andrew's apartment.

...

Since this was the first time I had come to New York, I had some trouble finding Andrew's apartment directly. I felt like some sort of tourist because I kept asking people about his address and once I managed to find it, I let out a sigh of relief. On my way I also texted Baldwin to come meet me there. I felt remorse for leaving him alone all night, especially because he was sick. Thankfully, he assured that he was feeling a lot better after drinking a thousand cups of tea.

After ringing the doorbell for a few times, Andrew gave me access into the building without asking who I was. The hallway was modest, but elegant and very clean. There were a lot of huge windows surrounding me. The walls were painted beige and had some amazing quotes engraved, which made them look quite nice. This place seemed delightfully luxurious and I truly wondered how Andrew managed to pay the rent since he was still attending University.