French Kisses

Chapitre 33

/FRENCH KISSES/

Alecia

The moment I heard a loud bang from the door, my eyes shot open wide and my whole body throbbed in a snap, making me fully awake. Para akong nahulog sa tulog ko mula sa kung saan na 'di ko matukoy.

Napansin ko na mukhang kanina pa gising si Pierce sa gilid ko. "Baby, what happened? You've been crying in your sleep."

Napatitig ako sa kanya at naalala ang nangyari. So it was just all dream. No, it was a nightmare. So hindi ko pa inamin sa kanya. Hindi niya pa ako iniwan.

I felt his fingers wiping my tears away as I stared at him in surprise. "You're here." I whispered, still panting. I touched his arms, his chest, "and his face. "You didn't leave me."

Tila naguguluhan akong tinignan ni Pierce. "Why would I ever leave you?"

I sobbed again and I rose myself up from the bed to embrace him tight. Niyakap niya rin ako ng mahigpit. Umiyak ulit ako sa mga bisig niya dahil naalala ko ang takot ang sakit na naramdaman ko saaking panaginip.

Will that really happen if I'd confess?

"Shh. Hush now, baby. Nandito lang ako, 'di kita iiwan. Mahal na mahal kita." Aniya at hinalikan ang ulohan ko. He rubbed my back up and down, trying to calm me down pero mas lalo lang akong napaiyak dahil sa mga sinabi niya.

'Di mo pa ako iiwan kasi 'di mo pa alam ang lahat.

"God. You scared the hell out of me, Alecia," he said when I finally get through my sobs and calmed down, still in his warm embrace. "How bad is your dream? Tell me about it."

I pulled away from the hug and shook my head. I half-heartedly wanted to tell him pero ng dahil sa panaginip na iyon, natatakot na akong aminin sa kanya.

Damn, I need help from someone.

Kinaumagahan, I didn't plan to go to school. I just told Pierce that I'm tired and I just wanted to sleep and rest for the whole day. And I guess Pierce understood about it because of what happened earlier in the morning.

Suot ang isang black na maong pants at simpleng t-shirt, lumabas ako ng apartment naming ni Pierce. This wasn't in my plan but I have found out that it was better to seek counselling with a therapist about what happened. And thank God, may kilala akong therapist.

"I missed you." Nagyakapan kami ng mahigpit ni Cheska, one of the closest cousins I have.

Umupo ako sa harap ng desk niya. Since nasa office kami, she has to act and work professionally kahit pa'y pamilya niya ako. Maybe we could hang out after this session.

I told her everything that happened, from the start, every details and every scene that I can remember.

"Yes, you were raped, Alecia..." Mahinahon niyang pahayag sa akin. "Uhm.. I guess it was a good idea coming here before you plan on telling this to your boyfriend. The odds are that once you tell this to him, you're not just dealing about what happened to you, you will also be dealing with his reaction as well. He would probably have a lot of questions in his mind, he would be confused, or angry. It will be such a difficult conversation, but the reaction you get says more about your boyfriend than it does about you. It can either break or make the relationship."

I sighed before I decided to speak up again. This was harder than I thought. "I was planning to tell him really. Pero lagi akong pinangungunahan ng takot at hiya... There's a big possibility na baka iwan niya ako, who wouldn't want to have a girl who has been raped?"