Undercover Love

Chapter 43

Julia's POV

It's funny how easily you can change your mind when it comes to make a big life-changing announcement to someone. After my small talk with Doug, I was determined to tell Tom about my pregnancy as soon as possible, even here at the chapel as long as no one was around to eavesdrop because I didn't really feel like telling everyone just yet, espacially when I wasn't so sure what was gonna become of the baby. But the thing is, the very second my eyes landed on him, I started freaking out and I suddenly decided there was absolutely no way I could tell him. We were dating for only a few months, what if he  thought I actually did it on purpose to trap him or something ? What if all this got him so upset that he chose to break things up with me ?  I couldn't help but fear the worst.

"Tom, we need to talk...No", I spoke to myself, looking at my reflection in the ladies room mirror. I shook my head in frustration at how dumb my words sounded. "Tom, I'm pregnant...Fuck no ! It's too...on the nose", I tried again, getting more desperate with each attempt. I took a deep breath, leaning on the sink for support. "Tom...baby...I uh...I-we have a problem...God damn it no !", I whined, mentally punching myself for being such a dumbass who was not even able to inform her own boyfriend she was preganant. My entire body was shaking. I was scared to death of his possible reaction. I couldn't predict it. After all, nothing could garantee he'd be delighted to hear the news.

I let a few minutes pass, forcing myself to calm down before trying again. 

"Okay", I exhaled loudly, still looking at myself in the mirror. "Uh...look Tommy...I...I'm...I'mhavingyourbabybutit'sokayifyoudon'twantitbecauseIdon'tthinkIwantiteither", I uttered in haste before burrying my face in my hands in pure despair. "I CAN'T DO IT !", I screamed, throwing a punch into the nearest wall out of rage. "OUCH !", I yelled in pain. "It serves you right you mug", I whispered to myself, cooling off a little. I ran a hand through my hair and stared at my reflection once more before mumbling, "How am I supposed to tell him that ?"

"Julia ? Are you alright ? You're talking to yourself", Judy 's voice echoed in the room all of a sudden as she walked in, chuckling slightly at me. I jumped in surprise before giving her a head nod along with a soft smile in response. I quickly focused back on my problem though, completely forgetting about her presence. 

How the hell was I gonna explain to Tom that his baby was currently growing inside of me ? I had absolutely no idea how to tell him, I didn't even want to. However I had to, whether I decided to keep it or not. It'd be so easy to get an abortion without him knowing though. I could forget all about it and pretend nothing ever happened. But as Doug said, it wouldn't be fair because he still had the right to know. In the other hand, it was my body so I could do whatever I wanted with it right ? I felt so torn apart. Why did it have to happen to me in the first place ? 

"Lia ? Hello ? Earth calling !", I heard Jude's voice calling out, but I was so lost in my thoughts, it was like she was far away. I finally came back to reality when she started shaking her hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

"Hmm ?", I shook my head a little, pressing all my worries to the back of my head. 

"Where were you ?", she asked, smirking playfully.

"I'm sorry, I was just...thinking."

"Is everything alright ?", she asked again in a more serious tone this time, "You look pale."

"Don't worry Jude. Everything's just fine." I managed to fake a smile, trying to reassure her the best I could.

"If you say so...Anyway, I'm still waiting for your answer. Are you in ?", she questioned, looking at me expectantly. I would've given her an answer right away except I hadn't the slightest idea of what the question was.