➳ Mistakes || WillNE

04. Pale Faces

08/04/18 - 1 year, 1 week, 1 day a/b (after breakup)

My heart was pounding in my chest.

Was I about to throw up?

I felt all of the blood rush away from my face, leaving me pale.

Will.
Will was here.

And I was hiding between Alex and George, who were also both not moving.

I could see Will put down a plastic Tesco carrier bag by the bottle of pink gin on the kitchen counter. His expression was confused, with those furrowed eyebrows I recognised from when he felt something was amiss. I assumed this was from the silence and pink gin.

"Pink gin, Alex? Lemonade?" Will asked over his shoulder, his eyebrows furrowing even more. "You haven't drank that since..." he paused and shook his head slightly, holding the side of the counter with one hand. "Since last year. Why're you drinking it now?"

Alex looked at George in a panic, who pulled a confused face and shrugged. After a lengthy silence, he finally got some words out.

"Just felt like it," he almost shrugged, trying his hardest to be nonchalant.

It was incredible how blind Will was. Almost as if it was a terrible plot devise to create tension in a fan fiction. He had his back turned to us, gripping the counter tightly before nudging the pink gin away from where he was stood.

"So," he began, turning around. I was still wedged between the boys, who were both as pale as I was and were desperately trying to cover me up. This, however, was futile, as he saw me. Our eyes met.
"Fuck."

—
After about a minute of silence, I sat up slightly. Will had a look of disbelief on his face, Alex and George were clearly nervous, and I just felt like heaving.

"Will...I..." I began, my voice just a broken whisper. I didn't know what to say to him.

He seemed to be shocked by my talking to him. Taken aback, almost. Once the slight shock wore off, I saw anger in those gorgeous eyes I had once spent what seemed like forever staring into.

"Don't talk to me. You didn't have the fucking decency to break up with me in person. What kind of fucking person breaks up with someone through text?" he yelled, his anger increasing by the second. He was bright red, with an intense amount of fury in his eyes.

"Calm down, Will," Alex tried to calm him, but Will ignored him.

"You fucking broke my heart, Cas! You fucking tore it up, ripped it to shreds, stomped on it and crushed it! You spout all this shite about us being fate, destiny, and whatever-the-fuck-else, but that's all it is. UTTER SHITE!" he screamed, tears streaming from his eyes.

"Will, calm the fuck down. You don't get to come in here and fucking ruin our night," George was slightly scared by how Will was acting. None of us had ever seen Will anything close to this. It was terrifying.

"Just take a breath, Will. Find a hotel for the night," Alex spoke softly, trying to change the negative atmosphere in the room.

"It's ok, Alex. I'll leave. Thank you for tonight; and you, George," I whispered shakily, getting up and leaving after seeing the sad, sorry smiles from Alex and George. Will avoided looking at me. I didn't blame him. How could I?

I glanced back before walking out of the door, and saw him with his head in his hands as the other two tried to comfort him. I quietly shut the door behind me and left, sobbing silently to myself.

After walking into my flat and locking the door behind me, I began to sob loudly.

Every sob ripped into my chest like a dagger, with every ounce of guilt, anger, hatred and love erupting out of me. I just wanted Will.

Why the fuck did I have to fucking hurt him?
Why the fuck did I have to hurt myself?
Why the fuck did I have to hurt everyone around us?

My knees hit the ground and I threw my head back, tears steaming down my face uncontrollably. I was frozen; a disgusting, emotional mess on my floor.

Fuck everything.

thank u for reading, please vote & comment if u enjoyed x